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(newsflash!

the new press conference concerning the corona virus announced the lockdown to be extended until september 2028

scientists have recently discovered that alexander lukashenko is still an absolute assh0l~

popular influencers release a statement for their younger followers in which they advise not to be influеnced by anyone on the intеrnet

in other news, a young producer from groningen named zav started his collaborations with wanya. critics claim that the young dutch boy is not a rapper. our redaction got into contact with the artist who stated the following)

i was born in the village
nothing much going on there
but now we rollin’ up the streets and now we rapping on these beats
and now we really poppin’ up here

i’m in the city vibe, and do you feel the hype
i don’t know why you talk to me, you are not my type
and all these wack motherf~ckers going nowhere
we bring the flow here, you gotta know here

yeah we out here ballin, like poker we all in
and sometimes we falling, these b~tches be calling
i smoke and it’s calming, the lyrics is bombing
she looking so charming, but she don’t want gold ring
till we all on the top, till the heads gonna bop
we are not gonna stop, yeah we all the way up
in the club, in the shop, on the street, in the pub
yeah we turn that sh~t up, i do not, give a f~ck

what are you gonna do? what i say it is true
i fly high to the moon, while i’m high of the schrooms
all these p~ssies are doomed, when i’m there in the gloom
babygirl come with me to the master bedroom

everytime i feel heat, when i’m crushing the beat
f~ck it, give me your juice, ‘cause i still need to eat
press the gas with my feet, driving fast on the street
and your girl giving head on the passengers seat

why you acting so fake, i am f~cking awake
bro start eating your cake, i come harder than drake
for my bro a handshake, the emergency brake
there is no second take, there is no second take


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