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lirik lagu tristan gianelli – properties of fire iv: catharsis

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(i feel it coming)
(i know i can’t allow this)
(i feel it coming)
(i know i must not allow this)
(i feel it coming)
(i know i can’t allow this)
(i feel it coming)
(i know i must not allow this)

when i fell down
i didn’t get up
i just stayed and ~n~lyzed
the cracks in the ceiling
until i found no more
i couldn’t find any more
but i refuse
to let the years go by like this
the walls come down
now i’m vulnerable and in the cold
i’ll face the season’s change
the season’s change

(growing stronger, growing stronger)
(growing stronger, growing stronger)
(growing stronger, growing stronger)
(growing stronger, growing stronger)
i’ll face this parasitic anguish
using up all of my strength
this won’t be part of me again
it won’t be more than i can takе
i’ll face you
i’ll face you

today the parasitе grew to the point where i could finally remove it
after hours of palpating and searching, i finally found it and began to cut it out of me
i hacked through layers and layers of skin and muscle until i could see it
it was still so deep in there that i wasn’t sure if i could get to it, but eventually, i was able to grab its head and slowly begin to pull it out
i felt it trying to suck the last of what it could out of me, so i bit the bullet and i ripped it out with brute force, using the last fragment of my strength
it was the worst pain imaginable but it had to be done
when i gathered myself, i was finally able to study it and i noticed that it stole my face
i was looking at myself, or rather a warped version of myself that i knew was there but could never acknowledge
i had let it grow for years unchecked, feeding off of me and gaining power until it could take over
oh, how it took over
oh, how it took over
but that’s finished now
i set it ablaze, its heart still beating, and enjoyed watching it writhe in agony
i had been waiting for this for years
it was finally gone
i was free
i scattered its ashes in the lake
i had never felt freedom like this
i am free
i am free
i am free
i am free
i am free
i am free
i am free
i am free
i am free
i am free
i am free


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