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lirik lagu tom lehrer – the hunting song

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(introduction, only on live alb-m „tom lehrer revisited“, spoken:)
almost every day during the hunting season you see at least
one item in the newspapers about somebody who has shot somebody
else, under the impression that he was a deer with a red hat
perhaps, maybe a large flesh-colored squirrel. at any rate,
it seems to me that this marks an encouraging new trend in the
field of blood sports, and deserves a new type of hunting song
which i present herewith:

i always will remember
’twas a year ago november
i went out to hunt some deer
on a mornin’ bright and clear
i went and shot the maximum the game laws would allow
two game wardens, seven hunters, and a cow

i was in no mood to trifle
i took down my trusty rifle
and went out to stalk my prey
what a haul i made that day
i tied them to my fender, and i drove them home somehow
two game wardens, seven hunters, and a cow

the law was very firm, it
took away my permit
the worst punishment i ever endured
it turned out there was a reason
cows were out of season
and one of the hunters wasn’t insured

people ask me how i do it
and i say, „there’s nothin’ to it
you just stand there lookin’ cute
and when something moves, you shoot!“
and there’s ten stuffed heads in my trophy room right now
two game wardens, seven hunters, and a pure-bred guernsey cow


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