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lirik lagu self critic – tough the resistance

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[verse 1]

things haven’t been working out well for me
everything i’m doing has been derailing me
the hatred and the pain, situation in ukraine
realization what i aimed had been failing me
and i can’t complain, cause i put myself in this position
the disposition to apathy is the root of this decision
it could’ve been avoided, and i would’ve been in a different place
better or not i wouldn’t know, but at least i would be moving at a much swifter pace
understanding what i need to do to stabilize the road in my journey
would’ve found out if this intended scenery is really what i’m hoping to earn me
but as i stand, gambling with my progress just ravaged my harvest
as my heart festers at a pathetic sight of me further becoming entangled in darkness
yet i do it all the same, focusing my energy on inner ambitions
even when i get it that it isn’t convincing as a mechanism for bettering my living conditions
life doesn’t owe me a thing, in fact it’s been more than generous and loving
i’m just sorry that its kindness had to be wasted on me, considering what i ended up becoming

[chorus]

every day i promise to change, and i never do
cause my impetus gets
swept away by -n-lysis waves in catch-22
for it’s ripped into shreds
i keep asking where i went wrong and what can be done
but before the reply
i’m distracted squandering time on carpe diem

[verse 2]

i’m many things, but what i’m not is a crybaby
moaning about injustice predominating my life lately
a man should face the consequences of his actions, paying the full price for everything that’s happened
if he’s trapped instead of hinging on hypocrisy
limping to get attention from everyone roaming
isn’t a strength of character building but it being inhibited from growing
because then how do you expect to be a professional that you know
if everyone’s helping you with obtaining what you yourself got to get to grow?
as a kid i followed proper discipline, studied what father taught me to become a law abiding citizen
polished intricate sk!lls evolving from a simpleton and dodging drug addiction to get into college up in michigan
for knowledge is an instrument to conquer my ambitions, as a consequence i kissed goodbye the competence to talk to people
for a shot at precosity to build my accomplishments only to squander them with an h1 visa i did not pet-tion
witnessing it doing the damage, when all the opportunities vanish for the person fluent in spanish
because i blew an advantage that i could’ve still salvaged, but i let my sk!lls diminish, and now my future is shattered
i accepted the destiny of a senescent derelict condemned to endless self ridicule
but the sentiment that makes this mess inexplicable i could still redeem myself if i wasn’t such a d-mn imbecile

[chorus]

[outro]

i cannot stand what i am doing to myself
i would complain/explain, but what excuses would i tell?
this is my fault, i can’t run from this hindrance
so i’ll persist no matter how tough the resistance


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