lirik lagu ryan oakes – save myself
[chorus]
i hang my head
locked inside of my bedroom, i’ll be fine
right now, i’m saving my breath
i’m sick of wasting my time
this for all the times that i bled
and all the pain that i felt
i’ll use the lies that i’m fed to f~ckin’ save myself
[verse 1]
scared to pick that lock that’s hiding my subconscious
way too young to be knowing all of these toxins
twelve years old, i was sippin’ on concoctions
tryna tell the world that i think i’m all out of options
screaming out for help with the whole world watching
it was entertaining, it fueled their gossip
i was just a little kid when i flipped that faucet, went unconscious
like f~ck it i’ma found out who god is
no one ever found out about that day
so they kept on giving me back pains
they didn’t care if i was stuck in a bad place
it made my brain sicker than the black plague, now
i’m having panic attacks when i’m alone and i don’t sleep
fingers down my throat between the meals i wouldn’t eat
when i hit rock bottom, and i wanted to retreat
i just crawled back up to my d~mn feet
[chorus]
i hang my head
locked inside of my bedroom, i’ll be fine
right now, i’m saving my breath
i’m sick of wasting my time
this for all the times that i bled
and all the pain that i felt
i’ll use the lies that i’m fed to f~ckin’ save myself
[verse 2]
bottled up inside, i never learned a way to grieve
can’t blame myself, ’cause ever since i was a teen
everyone i found too close to me would leave
i would hold on too long even when they’d cheat
happened three times, but the fourth girl was a treat
she manipulated all my insecurities
i would pull her weight for weeks while we wouldn’t speak
held up her world while she would kick me in the knees
i been thinking hard about that day
when i told her it was our last day together
she decided to take all of that pain
and try to overdose, memory is a bad lane
that i’ma never drive down, she don’t deserve it, that’s od
permanent imprints from all of the anxieties
still burn my soul so bad it’s a third~degree
but i’m still not accepting defeat
[chorus]
i hang my head
locked inside of my bedroom, i’ll be fine
right now, i’m saving my breath
i’m sick of wasting my time
this for all the times that i bled
and all the pain that i felt
i’ll use the lies that i’m fed to f~ckin’ save myself
[post~chorus]
i won’t break
break (i guess i’ll save myself)
i won’t break
break (i guess i’ll save myself)
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