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lirik lagu jma – chronic illness

[intro]

[verse 1]
i wake up and find myself in a hospital bed
with a severe pain in my heart and my head
i have wounds all over me, i’m severely infected
my whole body is hurting, all of it is affected

then a doctor enters the room and hands me a prescription
on which there’s written what i have to do to cure my infection
i read it through, but i don’t pay too much attention
because the concussion is distracting my concentration

i get back home in a few days and go back to my rhythm
instead of continuing to take my drugs, i totally forget them
and start taking paink!llers instead to k!ll the pain
but my disease is uncured, so my problem stays the same

[verse 2]
in a few days, i’m back in the hospital, sitting in the waiting room, patiently waiting
i see people with different sicknesses walking past me, some visibly frustrated
with the state of their health and trying to cope with what the doctor just stated
some of them rolling past me in wheelchairs, because their legs are amputated

yet others were able to make it because they located
the source of the sickness, the issue of infection before it was too late. and
then my observation ends, because the doctor calls me in and starts to explain my condition
he says i have a very common disease that makes almost every person deficient

i ask what it is, and he replies that it’s the source of all of my symptoms
“it’s trust issues.”
although i’ve been prescribed with the right medicine, i haven’t used it
i have been trying to treat the symptoms, but i’ve neglected the fears

from which all my problems issue. i’m shocked, i start crying
i’m trying to understand is it really true, so he offers me a tissue
i realize that all along it hasn’t been the symptoms that caused me problems
it wasn’t the bruise, but the beating that was going on in my own mind

the fears that were feeding my insecurities, although i have accused
others of being the source of my sickness, it has just been an excuse
because the real reason is:
i am just insecure

so, i leave the doctor’s office with the right instructions
i go home, look for my medicine and read the description
it says that in order to really cure my infection and concussion
i gotta stop taking paink!llers, look in the mirror and make an honest confession

i have to dig deep down in my distrust and deal with my issues whether through therapy session
or just by talking to someone i trust, through an honest discussion
because i will never be able to escape the inevitable destruction
if my ident-ty is not built on an unshakable foundation

[verse 3]
your wounds will get worse if you don’t clean them
and leave them unattended. if you have a cut, you gotta mend it
don’t just brush things off, by doing so you’ll just fuel it
put down your paintbrush and take up your toolkit

instead of repainting your house, repair it!
instead of putting a band-aid on, you gotta cure it!
instead of just popping pills to k!ll the pain
you have to fix the problem, or it will remain the same!

instead of putting on a mask, look in the mirror
but in order to see clearer, you gotta make it cleaner
in order to see your errors, you gotta step nearer
to your own reflection to see your fear or

it will affect your today and ruin your tomorrow
so instead of running from it, face the terror
that has been hunting you or for your own horror
it will get worse and then even greater will be your sorrow

instead of looking for a speck in someone else’s eye
remove the plank from your own mind!
instead of trying to make yourself look better by judging them
examine your own self and let go of the grudges you’ve held!

instead of trying to change what you can’t, adjust your perspective!
instead of being selective and constantly projecting your own defects and
mistakes on others, take up a magnifying gl-ss and be introspective
whenever you detect a mistake become more perceptive to your own perceptions

instead of burying your fears, face them, giants!
instead of being quiet, break the silence!
instead of locking it up, you gotta open the door!
if you wanna find the cure, you gotta get to the core

in order to really heal this chronic illness
you have to get to the source of the sickness
instead of trying to deal with the ever-changing symptoms
or you will always be a victim of distrust syndrome

[outro]

- lirik lagu jma

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