lirik lagu dash-n – it was mr. pickels!
[intro]
may i have silence please, the court is now in session. the court would like to recognize lammy, accused for three charges of murder, for our first session of the day. lammy, in your trial, you were accused of second-degree murder, but pled innocent against the charges. you have been brought before us today to testify against a so-called real k!ller that you say k!lled the victims. please explain what happened when you were with petunia at your tea party
[verse 1]
look, don’t go accusing me
you really think this is amusing me?
it wasn’t me, it was he
petunia had went to get some more tea
petunia had brought her teddy bear
which she had placed in a vacant chair
not doing a thing, just sitting there
when my pickle beheaded him with a tear
i tried to fix it, but it wouldn’t go on
petunia thought it was me all along
i tried to explain, when behind her came
mr. pickels, choking her without shame
it was too late, but i’m to blame?
i tried to stop him, i was framed!
it was not me, i’m not that sick, no
listen to me, judge, it was mr. pickels!
[break 1]
um… alrighty then. the court will review the evidence it has to see if… this pickle… k!lled petunia. now lammy, another murder you were accused of, right after petunia, was handy. please explain what happened
[verse 2]
i heard a scream as petunia died
and i saw flaky riding on by
on a motorcycle, she was scared
she thought i was cutting off petunia’s air
i tried to explain but she drove away
i guess i don’t blame her, she thought i was crazy
anyways, it was just my luck
i saw mr. pickels getting into a truck
i rushed over, i was gonna stop him
i jumped inside to topple him
but it was too late, i couldn’t stop him
i really wish i could say got him
he drove that truck down the road
ran over handy, made his head explode
look, that pickle, i tried to get it
see? i’m the good guy, mr. pickels did it!
[break 2]
um… alrighty then. once again, the court will review its evidence… lammy, in the mean time, please tell us about flaky, the third murder you were accused of right after handy. did mr. pickels k!ll her, too?
[verse 3]
after that, flying down the road
trying not to lose control
i could not stop, couldn’t hit the break
and it was too late to fix the mistake
we p-ssed a cop eating a sandwich
i knew that he could handle this
sure enough he threw it aside
and then he jumped onto his own ride
he gave chase but there was no way
that he could stop this, oh hey
i felt so bad for the girl in front of me
she thought that this whole thing was me
log in the road, she had to stop
i slammed on the brakes, behind us, the cop
poor flaky, sheet of metal sliced her head
but mr. pickels is why she’s dead!
[break 3]
wow, that is quite a story, lammy. the court just needs to know one more thing. how did you feel, right after the murders occurred? what happened right before officer lumpy arrested you?
[verse 4]
i was not feeling nice but naughty
i had left behind a trail of bodies
it was not me, i’m not mean
mr. pickels was nowhere to be seen
that dirty look the cop gave me
was enough to make me feel unclean
he was steamed, i tried to explain
with a taser pointed at my face
he did not believe that i
didn’t do it, and then he fried my eye
took me away off to jail
awaiting my fate inside a cell
speaking of cell, i have an idea!
i think i can make you see, judge
here, i brought him here, mr. pickles
have him explain why he k!lled those people!
[outro]
um lammy? this… this looks like a normal pickle. he does not have a top hat or mustache like you claimed at your trial… and the evidence against you is really strong… i hate to say this lammy but this is not looking good. we’ve also reviewed your medical records. and i believe this court has made its decision. you have been found guilty of your crimes, but because your lawyer made a valid plea of insanity for you, you will not receive the death penalty. instead, lammy, you will be admitted to a mental hospital for immediate treatment of the severe case of schizophrenia that you clearly have. you will soon learn, lammy, and be able to walk free again, once your sickness has been treated well enough. i know you won’t believe me right now, but you must listen to me, lammy: there is no mr. pickels. he doesn’t exist. case closed
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