lirik lagu zhuravliov - "star wars" han shot first (a sarcastic ode)
[verse 1]
in a galaxy far, far away
where laser blasters ruled the day
there lived a smuggler, bold and brash
with a smirk on his face, a quicksilver flash
[verse 2]
han solo was his name, you see
a scoundrel with a heart of glee
but the tale that spread across the land
was of a shot fired from his hand
[chorus]
, don’t you mess with me
there ain’t no doubt, it’s plain to see
han shot first, don’t you try to debate
he fired that blaster, sealed his fate
[verse 3]
“did he shoot first?” they all would ask
in a debate that seemed to forever last
for in this universe, it mattered so much
[verse 4]
now, let me present the complete rule set
to determine who shot first, you won’t forget:
rule number one, it’s han without a doubt
he shot first, no need to pout
[chorus]
han shot first, don’t you mess with me
there ain’t no doubt, it’s plain to see
han shot first, don’t you try to debate
he fired that blaster, sealed his fate
[saxophone solo]
[verse 5]
rule number two, if greedo’s claim is made
that he fired first, well, let’s throw some shade
for han’s the hero, the one we adore
[verse 6]
rule number three, let’s add some spice
if anyone disagrees, they’re not so wise
for han’s the scoundrel with the blaster hot
greedo’s just a victim, tough luck, poor bot
[chorus]
han shot first, don’t you mess with me
there ain’t no doubt, it’s plain to see
han shot first, don’t you try to debate
he fired that blaster, sealed his fate
[verse 7]
rule number four, let’s settle the score
no more debates, we can take no more
han shot first, it’s etched in stone
a truth so clear, can’t be overthrown
[verse 8]
so, let’s put this argument to bed
han shot first, it’s been said and said
in this sarcastic ode, the truth is revealed
han solo, the rogue, the one who wheeled
[chorus]
han shot first, don’t you mess with me
there ain’t no doubt, it’s plain to see
han shot first, don’t you try to debate
he fired that blaster, sealed his fate
[outro]
now, let’s move on, let’s leave it behind
this question of shots, it’s not worth our time
for in a galaxy filled with adventure and fun
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