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lirik lagu zerotheghost - deewana

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[sample: zia mohyeddin]
“if all this is oppressive for the young asian, the framework of british society, which he is attracted to is even more forbidding”

[verse 1: zerotheghost]
started off feeling it, age of 6, immigrants
raised up on a street where the train ran by
all the time, every 5 minutes yard was shaking like
a hurricane, hurryin around like we ain’t got no time
to make time, the breakdowns, hamesha no sp~ce now

the yard was an orphanage and a hotel
i witnessed residents, evictions
sharing blankets with the occupants in my bedroom

bumpy roads, brown boy, sitting on road humps
waiting for that train to run me over til my cousins like
“what the f~ck you doing?” i don’t know, i felt numb
premonitions of my death like final destination man

i came in this world, with voices in my mind
distracted by the stars and the visions of these signs
every intuition that i gathered from my mental
was buried in a tunnel i could never break into like

[verse 2: zerotheghost]
anyway, he don’t complain, that little paki feeling good
the gift of the gab that god kept giving would
dish out grades mrs. brooks had never seen before
didn’t open books but still his writing was original
but don’t tell simon, don’t make that white boy cry
don’t recall her telling that to si when he was getting as ~ but hey
he used to volunteer to run the tuck shop

jackin snack a jack for pakis, sell it back to crackers, for a profit
his wallet, stackin he was shotting
burnin dvds ntl box chip cards
munching biryani, mint yoghurt used to live large
mum whipped it good, dad used to give him hugs

and i, oh i thought you’d be here
forever

and i, oh i thought you’d be here
forever

[verse 3: zerotheghost]
some pakis at school telling me that i’m they cousin
some pakis at school telling me that i ain’t muslim
some pakis at school asking me about the family
some pakis at school getting sent to different countries

crackers at school seem surprised that i’m articulate
crackers at school always questioning my melanin
crackers at school getting jealous off intelligence
crackers at school hate me cuz they think i’m arrogant
i’m out again, i can’t relate, i can’t assimilate
i never had a problem making friends or linking gyal, they all just fake
i’d sit on my own and write poetry, stories
take a camera on the playground, and make some movies

it was very clear i had a gift
until my dad erased every single thing i made
the only coping mechanism carried to my name
faded into black when the end credits came like:

[bridge: zerotheghost]
this is my movie called “that same feeling i felt when i was 6 and every single day of my life since then”

directed by despair
produced by fear
written by djinn
bold writing like

directed by despair
produced by fear
written by djinn
bold writing like

[verse 3: zerotheghost]
teachers belling parents cuz they think they concerned
that little paki bleeding from his blazer and burn
marks and scars on his arms he was self~mutiliating
imam told him h~ll was almost certainly waiting
the lights were on but ain’t n0body home
the yard was deserted by deewana alone
put him on some medication, mess with his brain
was it his mind or life that drove him insane?

in the end, swept away, left without a trace
kicked outta school, college, yard and every single workplace
hooked on amphetamines the ending he faced
until the choice he made:

[verse 4: zerotheghost]
i gotta get outta here, gotta get my ass in gear
gonna show these pakis who the f~ck they think they missing with
motherf~ck these crackers they ain’t talented they cattin me
now i’m glowing hard that all these b~tches want a bit of me

a better me, a bitter me, my mum and dad are dead to me
i am the epitome of get a hysterectomy
f~ck the angle that you from this isn’t trigonometry
still i’m triggered by the world despite the fact it’s history

[sample: zia mohyeddin documentary]
“might be until the first generations asians until, well to put it bluntly, until they die out, there is no chance. because my generation won’t have a chance while they’re still around.”

“asian kids have got similar problems like mine and i think the good solution would be for all of them to run away from home and their parents will realise they want their independence.”

“you know, just to get away from everything, to be free and do whatever i want to. i don’t get a chance. you know, i just can’t. after sacrificing my own wishes and doing everything, i don’t think it’s worth leaving the family now.”


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