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lirik lagu yuri khedz - afterlife

same sh~t, different day is how i’m livin’
work double shifts just to get paid a little
here where i live even the air tastes bitter
a city run by money and some mariah dillards

the place i work at ain’t that big or fancy
plus these pills i take make me so angry
to the point where even i can’t stand me
energy’s drained, i’m here but barely standing

throw my keys on the counter, then collapse on the couch
evеn with the windows open the smеll of smoke surrounds
even though i live here it don’t feel like my house
even though they can’t talk, my thoughts are so loud

i feel like i’m wilting away when i sleep
everyday i wake up with no hopes or no dreams
everyday i wake up not knowing how i feel
can’t afford a proper meal, so i might as well steal

i enter the flat but all i see is darkness
alarmed, i stock meds and then i harness
all the strength that i have and now i’m starting
to take the dose that i got, now it’s all in

i start to notice that i’m really not well
this sh~t has turned my life into a living h~ll
it feels like i’d do anything to drop dead
or find something i can really get lost in
afterlife, this that afterlife
this the promised land, this that fight or flight, mama said
that’s your life, this your only f~ckin’ life
if you die, you’re diggin’ my grave right beside ya, that’s your life

careful what you wish for
and trust me i am
ain’t nothin’ in this world that’s worth a godd~mn
god consider this my final prayer
i been tossed around and i don’t find it fair

or so i thought
then i met a chick, then i met a new broad
all up in her eyes, was the pain that i saw
swear to god she was messed up but god, she was so soft

you know how it goes
first we sharing drinks, now she wearin’ my clothes
first we talk deep, then we laugh ’till we choke
first you just feel, then it seeps through your soul

for her? anything, i will do
she’s my new addiction tho i’m still screwed
knowin’ she ain’t mine makes me a ill too

lemme just take a pill, two
(nah these right here will k!ll you
put ’em away, or just quit too)
i can’t, yes i can
man i’m trapped cuz
i can’t live without them
but if i get rid of ’em i’ll be d~mned
i’ll be d~mned
my vision blurs, i see a face in front me
she ask if i’m ok, i say only partially
tries to distract me with a conversation
asks me what are the flaws that i hate in
a person that i’m datin’
so i take a deep breath and i f~ckin’ say it

i hate it when people complain
i hate it when people turn crazed
cuz soon they’ll act deranged
just cuz they’ve caged
themselves in an endless loop of rage
it stems from reasons they cannot explain
i hate it when people just lie or say
sh~t they don’t mean, just to try and break
the ice, tryna make all the silence fade
i hate it when people just hide away
i hate it when people just smile and say
blatant lies to my own face
lots of multiple times a day
it’s funny cuz hey
i noticed that i
just live this way
i hate myself so it’s a mistake
to date
(el moshkela, eno its the same day, its the same day everyday)
same days
same, same ways
same days
everyday
day by day

after this rant, i tell her to listen
i tell i stash some sh~t in the kitchen
whenever i’m feelin’ down i can stick in
a needle and feel it, the plot now thickens

we sit exchanging points of views
she tells me don’t give in to substance abuse
whilst i say it’s good to just use
good to just try and you see how you do

and we go back and forth
i know it’s a harmful force
but at the same time she knows
why i’m stuck in this f~ckin’ hole

she loves your sound on every instrumental
every word you write with the pencil
man since when do you feel this sh~t
since when do you care what other people think?
i don’t, i just care when she speaks or thinks
i care how she feels and sh~t
maybe i should stray from these old pills
maybe i shouldn’t need to drink
but i need this sh~t

afterlife, this that afterlife
this the promised land, this that fight or flight, mama said
that’s your life, this your only f~ckin’ life
if you die, you’re diggin’ my grave right beside ya, that’s your life

d~mn i haven’t called her in weeks
i guess
i was too busy seein’ how she makes me feel that then
i forgot to see how she has been
maybe i’ma call her so we can speak again

i pick up the phone but i get no answer
i send her a text and then i grow anxious
how fast did time pass
i was too busy dealin’ with my sh~t
to even romance her
though i knew her cure was her own laughter
never knew this a chain reaction
when i told her about the drugs she paid attention
asked me about that stuff, then i gave a lesson
on how to make some meds that’ll
make the pain go away forever

i’m going insane, i get up
visit where she lives, i head up as i
drive by, police tape, set up
my face is lit up
i can’t believe this, jesus
her lifeless body lays beneath us
they say she was last seen
smokin’ weed and she did
like a ton of drugs
before she reached in
the kitchen grabbed for the cleaver
i can’t breathe, i need her
how could she leave us?
now the police are leavin’
and her mom’s out grieving
her wrist ain’t the only thing bleedin’
it’s me in the street with
a hand full of pills
and the other hand’s greeting the hand of the reaper
i hate myself for failing to keep her
dug myself a grave then i made that hole deeper
so it can fit my burdens when i see her
in the afterlife

in the afterlife
we all after life
even if it means we won’t have a life
it’s madness tied
to the fact that i’m
never satisfied with my sad life
in the afterlife

- lirik lagu yuri khedz

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