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lirik lagu xtc - no thugs in our house (a musical in three acts by xtc)

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cast of characters

graham, a teenager
mother, a busy housewife
father, a conservative husband
policeman, a young constable

scene: a kitchen in suburbia, one bright sat-rday morning

act one

narrator: the insect-headed worker-wife will hang her waspies on the
line. her husband burns his paper, sucks his pipe while studying
their cushion-floor, his viscous poly-paste breath comes out. their
wall-paper world is shattered by his shout. a boy in blue is busy
banging out a headache on the kitchen door. all the while graham
slept on, dreaming of a world where he could do just what he wanted
to.

mother and father (in unison): no thugs in our house, are there dear?
we made that clear, we made little graham promise us he’d be a good
boy. no thugs in our house, are there dear? we made that clear, we
made little graham promise us he’d be a good boy.

act two

narrator: the young policeman who just can’t grow a moustache will
open up his book, and spoil their breakfast with reports of asians who
have been so badly kicked.

policeman: is this your son’s wallet i’ve got here? he must have
dropped it after too much beer!

mother: oh, officer, we can’t believe our little angel is the one
you’ve picked.

narrator: and all the while graham slept on, dreaming of a world
where he could do just what he wanted to.

mother and father (in unison): no thugs in our house, are there dear?
we made that clear, we made little graham promise us he’d be a good
boy. no thugs in our house, are there dear? we made that clear, we
made little graham promise us he’d be a good boy.

narrator: they never read those pamphlets in his bottom drawer.

policeman: they never read that tattoo on his arm.

narrator: they thought that was just a boys club badge he wore.

policeman: they never thought he’d do folks any harm.

act three

narrator: the insect-headed worker-wife will hang her waspies on the
line. she’s singing something stale and simple now this business has
fizzled out. her little tune is such a happy song. her son is
innocent, he can’t do wrong, ‘cos dad’s a judge and knows exactly what
the job of judging’s all about. and all the while graham slept on,
dreaming of a world where he could do just what he wanted to.

mother and father (in unison): no thugs in our house, are there dear?
we made that clear, we made little graham promise us he’d be a good
boy. no thugs in our house, are there dear? we made that clear, we
made little graham promise us he’d be a good boy.

mother: no thugs in our house!

father: no thugs in our house!

complete cast (in unison): no thugs in our house, dear!

set design by andy partridge with co-ordination by ken ansell.
stage and scenery by art dragon


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