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lirik lagu xiihab - apathy

collecting my composure
hope to god that pain is over
people i once knew like family
tend to get colder
simply look for closure
look for balance look for peace
self sufficient i’ve become
i used to wish to be
stronger when i’m feeling weak
feeble to anxiety
praying on my hands and knees
to rid me of this apathy
i empathize to constantly
to people who do not
exhausted when i give affection
sympathize a lot
i’m envious but cautious
i dare not become so bitter
the way that life has treated me
surprised i ain’t a k!lla
suicide my preference used to
bottle for relief and i
never knew that holding back would back fire on me
satire they see
i continue with my agony
misery my company
when no one else was loving me
gettin higher to relieve
all my the trauma they would bring
i just whisper to myself
it be over they go leave uh
i just want to be alone
the only way i feel myself where pressure ain’t condoned
they label me a child wish i could be now i’m grown
they tell me that i’m otherwise yet living on my own
do they love me
do they not
do they want me
i bet not
do they pray for me
i stop
hope for something
hope for nothing
hope for solace
not to rot
man i’ve seen so many things that i wish that i did not
now i’m praying for my train of thought to stop

i wept and i cried
probably best if i
stay alone tonight
for the rest of my
life i feel so numb
swear i can’t go one
without you know i’m done
i can’t feel this much

i got what i deserved
don’t know what i am worth
invest so much in others get nothing when the tables turned
i’m filled with pain and hurt
don’t know how to make this work
wanna blow my mind like kurt
i wish they noticed but i

live and learn
now i’m by myself
mentally detached never reaching out for help
see my pride was next to suicide
you and i relate too well
yea i make mistakes
even angels did before they fell

i feel like i’m in h-ll
i wish that i could call
somebody who’d pick up right when i need them they don’t know at all
what’s its like to walk in my shoes
what’s its like to see through my view
what’s it like to be in my hurt
what’s it like to be so confused
what’s its like to feel like you less
what’s it like to not have a muse
and try to find a reason even when you don’t got a clue

i wept and i cried
probably best if i
stay alone tonight
for the rest of my
life i feel so numb
swear i can’t go one
without you know i’m done
i can’t feel this much

- lirik lagu xiihab

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