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lirik lagu xibs - [upcoming] monochromatic roads

(intro: xibs)

once upon a time, i’ve done such an horrible act, and today…
i shall take responsability about it, so i can speak about this past beef too…
lemme go and explain that old d~mn deal
from her, to tf~tyre, to many other dramas, to a fake me bullying a friend of mine
but i gotta talk about the most interesting part of my old self: diceythekittydog

(verse 1: xibs)

back in 2020, i was 10, not aware of what i was doing back then in the days
there was this girl once, trying to keep smilin’ behind her pain (ow)
somehow, i remembered her name from a few months besides how i started a little internet war after her own comeback
it’s like her life was slowly becoming like a fallen empire, she never came back
i ignored the suffering in her, i was a heartless kiddo on the internet, unaware
bullies like the old me right now? praying for you, the listener, please beware
my insults were bad, now i use them only when i get mad, not to ruin lives for fun
i kept quoting “stop it” or “time to deleate dicey”, once i look back at these, i’m like “was that the past me? is that what i see?”
the more i think about it, the more i feel useless
no matter how much my accounts got banned, the old me somewhat managed to return a lot
taking absolutely not sneaky reduxes, once you go further in this song, just so ya know, there thickens the whole ass plot
wow
then there was oisin, he was over there, just saying he appreciated her?
they called him “oisinthesimp”
it wasn’t even to be meaner, trying to forget the idea i existed that year
i lived enough to see the old me, but will i live til 35 to see the other old me?
(instrumental bridge)

(verse 2: xibs)

as the story extends, i wasn’t the only reason she felt like sh~t
the darker sides of her family problems, that’s where in my heart that it hit
she said she lived in “some sort of h~ll”, the fact she couldn’t move out of her grandmother’s that day, oh it felt like it always was some sorta doomsday
there was a sh~t pile of garbage all over the dang floor there back in the old ’22, do i feel quite guilty? yes for sure i do!
i was somehow not the reason for the chopped family ties, she was an angel to the lesser said, it’s like i sn~tched off her f~cking wings
this action of mine was disgraceful, when i told her “i’m glad you’re gone”, the deep thought of this archive of mine, makes me feel like that slowly will this sh~t detach my heart strings
even worse, her momma tried to make a nft company, with what? using her almighty deadname
i once tried to invade her server on discord once, there was her girlfriend
gladly i failed, but i didn’t think soon has came her legacy’s end
the obscure nights of my past, is not to discuss
there was groups on the website, some against her, some supportin’ her
i was the leader, of the anti~her, felt like the french mussolini, a pure dictator
oh, the reason i got mad at dicey? i just hacked a wiki page once
for context, she was a moderator, to this community, i was an absolutely harmful fandom traitor
those trevor henderson images, stays to the head of the kids i forgot that could believe anything on the f~cking globe
felt bad remembering this godd~mn episode
pay attention, it only gets worse, the twisted it goes further, trust me
wished i could travel back in time, show some awaited sympathy
n0body of course believed in me, her self harm showed nearly no future destiny

(instrumental bridge 2)
(verse 3: xibs)

in 2024, once again, back in november
still didn’t ring a bell or have a clue, wherever she went, forever?
i played a minecraft map about her, why did i even call it “top 20 ways to k!ll dicey”? this map felt like an abandoned diary
then at this time, my soul was like “stop there buddy”, i felt this sh~t throughout my d~mn veins, this ain’t a joke
to this day, all that i have memory of, unfortutanely in my head it still remains
then for some unknown reason, i must admit it for the love of f~ck, what i’m gonna tell is crazy
on discord, i shared the idea of apologizing to her after my undelightful attacks
to my friends, my cousin liam and my friend ramiro
for some reason, my 4 ideas were to:
one, she forgives me, two is that she doesn’t, three is the first one but with a leading, new and pretty fresh friendship, fourth was getting too romantical, what the actual f~ck?
they kept telling me i was insane, the actual words:
“i thought you changed” oh oisin, how i failed you so terribly
“goodbye you obsessive freak!” the time i almost got left by tundra, gladly she forgave me
ramiro was targetting me, i’m glad she’s done, i was unbearably romantical by the thought of dicey for no reason, i wasn’t no free bee…
my dear liam told me things like “imagine your enemy comes back to you to apologize and says he wants to f~ck you”
i felt this profoundly, asked myself if i am meant to be livin’
to all i’ve hurt, this is transformation, i showed some proofs of maturity, changed fast enough from the d~mn month of november

(instrumental bridge 3)

(verse 4: xibs)

hey dicey, if you hear this song, it is me, your old foe
i am louis, i tried my best to move on but the thought of what i’ve done in your already bad life, i didn’t see the h~llfire and the darkness behind it
mixed emotions, you shouldn’t see how bad it was, it’s been 5 years of course, i have changed a lot
matured even more
if you’re not here, it feels like i’m apologizing to a wall
but to this day, i still stand tall, hoping for the second time that i won’t yet again fall
i’ve done a lot, actions speak louder than words but i don’t live next to you or anything, f~ck am i supposed to do?
i know you’re a true playa, put your hands in the air if you feel that
you were an artist, you were creative, you were passionate, you were young and inspired, and now, i think i f~cked up your avenir, for the love of god!
i don’t even have conscious of where you are in the moment, i feel boring
i know you moved on, but my brain got corrupted by the thought of this old little war between us, and our supporters from each side
i can say i sadly got back on the same sh~t
it wasn’t lit, i admit
to be honest with you, hm? honestly, i feel lots of empathy
i hope your mom got her brain fixed, i hope you no longer live in your grandma’s rottin’ house, i hope you got your imagination full of layers like an onion, hope it’s back for real
i hope your life is better than any other time, i hope high school goes well for you, i send you my prayers even though i’m athiest, reminder to stay safe, even if you don’t forgive me, i forgive myself, see?
(last bridge)

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