lirik lagu will wood - i can’t be
i get sick of this, man
i don’t do this because i love it, i’m not chasing my dreams, i ain’t doing any of that sh~t, i do this because it’s the only thing i have left at this point
i’ve burned all my other bridges
i’m not good at anything else
sh~t, i’ve dropped out of four different colleges, and at this point, i don’t have any other options
i can’t go and be a lawyer like my brother
i can’t go and be a lawyer like my father
i can’t go and be a lawyer like someone else who’s a lawyer but isn’t in my family
i can’t go and be a realtor like my mother
i can’t go and be a dog like my dog
i can’t go and be anything other than what i am right now, and god~f~cking~dammit, i hate it
ladies and gentlemen, boys, girls, neithers, boths, and in~betweens, they say not all who wander are lost
bullsh~t
sorry, i got angry there
you see
i uhh, sometimes it’s hard to go running around the country, uh, even with a head full of mood stabilizers
it’s kinda tough to, you know, expect yourself to be talented all the time, expect yourself to be on point all the time and always have something poetic and profound to say, or at least funny to say, and
it’s tough to have that pressure on yourself also while knowing that people back at home are aware of what you’re doing and are watching it via the internet, with their electronic eyeb~lls and their transmission devices
it’s difficult to be doing all that with a head full of f~cking diagnoses, trying to wander around the f~cking country of borderline personality disorder
give it a shot sometime, this ain’t easy
sometimes i feel like, uh, like there’s n0body in there, like i’m just made out of nothing, i’m a person made out of n0body, no features, no characteristics, just a man on shuffle, like an old ipod nano
like i… like i’m just a non~newtonian fluid taking on the shape of whatever contains me
sure, the dowists would think that’s far out, but, you know, it’s… at least i could be a single person, usually
and, back in vestal, new york, i, um
when i was at binghamton university, i had, uh, a period of time where i wasn’t eating, really
and i don’t mean, like, i was skipping lunch, i mean i was skipping weekends
and something happens to you when you don’t eat for a really long time, they call it “starving”
something happens where you start seeing different angles and different ridges and different contours than you wouldn’t seen before, and if you’re not ready for that, i guess it can kinda freak you out
but, i had this experience and it kinda reminded me that maybe, even though i can’t usually see it, there really is something there
there really is an architecture, a structure, something that’s stopping all of us from being puddles on the ground unable to walk and stand upright, and…
that’s our bones
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