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lirik lagu "weird al" yankovic - we're all doomed

[intro: weird al]
~screams~ we’re all doomed! ~sobs~ people are breathing out this living poison! it’s trying to float into my orifices! i lost my car keys! i had to steal my neighbor’s segway to get here today, and on the way i crashed in this dumpster, and these kids were making a video and now i’m on tiktok! i can’t… excuse me. yeah? being not hysterical? despite, you know, things? oh. i can do that. dignified!

gentlemen, welcome to the first presidential debate. our first question, in the key of g sharp minor is:
[yodel]
skoo~doot~in~do~dit
do~be~did~in~bibbida~bobbida~boo, baba~do~dit
ra~ta~ta~ta~ta~doo~datten~do~de~do~din~bow~boo~sho~pa~ja~kow~bop~in~do~dee

i’m so sorry

[verse 1: weird al]
2020’s a raging h~llscape!
any ideas on how to stop a worldwide plague?

[biden] we should be providing people the help they need
he knew back in february it was a deadly disease. what did he do? he’s on tape acknowledging he knew
[weird al] really?
[biden] he waited and waited and waited. and he didn’t even tell you
[trump] president trump did a phenomenal job. people said that
[weird al] well
[trump] we got the gowns. we made the ventilators we got the masks. i don’t wear masks like him~~~every time you see him he’s got a mask~~~the biggest mask i’ve ever seen. (the biggest mask i’ve ever seen.)
[weird al] will we get back all the jobs we lost?
or should we set up eleven million etsy shops?
[biden] my economic plan would create one trillion dollars in economic growth
he has no intention of making it better for you all at home
[trump] i brought back football! it was me! (me!)
[weird al] what?
[trump] big 10 football ~ and i’m very happy
[weird al] who’s it gonna be…
[trump] they wanna take out the cows… (the cows!)
[weird al] in the west wing?
[biden] now here’s the deal:
he has no idea what he’s talking about
[refrain: weird al]
we’re living in the apocalypse!
i’m begging you to put a stop to this!
pretty please?

[biden] you say he can inject some bleach
[trump] they cheat!

[weird al]
if the supreme court
is truly supreme
where’s the guac , ground beef, and sour cream?

[biden] the american people have a right to say
who is the supreme court nominee

[trump] her biggest endorsers are from notre dame
we have a phenomenal nominee

[verse 2: weird al]
i ran out of questions
but still got a while
it’s time to drop some bars
let’s see how you freestyle!

[trump] in europe they live there
forest cities!
they’re called forest cities
it’s a forest city
[biden] you know
he talks about the art of the deal
china’s perfected the art of the steal

[trump] bad things happen in philadelphia
bad things

[biden] he’s just afraid [?]

[trump] proud boys: stand back and stand by

[biden] he’s said there are very fine people on both sides
he said maybe you should drop a nuclear weapon on hurricanes

[trump] the cars have computers all over the place

[chorus: weird al]
who is it gonna be?
[trump] they want to take out the cows, the cows!
[weird al] in the west wing?

[biden] now here’s the deal
he has no idea what he’s talking about

[refrain: weird al]
we’re living in the apocalypse
i’m begging you to put a stop to this!
pretty please?
[biden] keep yapping, man
[trump] the people understand
[biden] he doesn’t have a plan

[verse 3: weird al]
exploding trees
covid 19
hurricanes with names past the letter z
conspiracy theories about vaccines
murder h~rnets coming from across the sea
too many memes about world war iii
can’t tell what’s h~ll or reality
earthquakes ruining my whole week
’cause i dropped my keys in the crack between the cup holder and my car seat!
~inhales~

[chorus: weird al]
who is it gonna be?
[trump] they want to take out the cows, the cows!
[weird al] in the west wing?

[biden] now here’s the deal
he has no idea what he’s talking about

[refrain: weird al]
we’re living in the apocalypse!
i’m begging you to put a stop to this!
pretty please?

[biden] you say~~~he can inject some bleach?
[trump] they cheat!

[chorus: weird al]
who is it gonna be?

[biden] that was really a productive segment, wasn’t it?
keep yapping, man

[outro: weird al]
if you’ll excuse me, the murder h~rnets come out at midnight so i’ve gotta go home and seal the door to my purge room
… and i’ll take this, uh, light breeze with me
smell ya later, dude!
ciao baby!

- lirik lagu weird al yankovic

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