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lirik lagu vessel of ghosts - teenage prayers

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when i was seven, i asked god if he could help me
feel safe in my home and in my skin
i waited in everlasting agony
my optimism starting to wear thin

i tried to stay faithful and patient
as i grew into an awkward teenage body
i knew something about me was unusual
so i asked god if he would fix me

in an unexpected moment
i found that he had answered my prayers
i believed that you were godsent
with the way you showed up here
you loved the parts of me i loathed
it was you who gave me confidence to be

as we grew up, something changed
i still can’t place just what it was
maybe you too felt ashamed
you couldn’t “fix” who you’d become
though you chose to forget me
and all that we shared
i still love you the way i did back then
a stuttering and lonely closeted kid
to you it’s just an ordinary wednesday
for me it is the end of the world
though the sun will rise
and there will be more julys
something inside of me has died
something inside of me has died

to you it’s just an ordinary wednesday
for me it is the end of my world
though the sun will rise
and there will be more julys
it doesn’t matter cause i’ll never have another next to you
no, it doesn’t really matter without you


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