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lirik lagu vctms - suddenly everything changed

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i stay awake at night, stuttering to speak the words
of a feeling i can no longer find
all the pain that i’m holding on
self inflict for a bit like it makes me strong
am i wrong? not enough for your love

i used to crave attention
now i’ve grown used to loneliness
cause i can’t break my own heart
& i refuse to let you do it again
my dichotomy sits between happiness & suffering
this illness enervates my cheeks, drains them of their coloring

sometimes i bloom & then i wither
my lungs collapse, pneumonia, it blisters
all i ever wanted was reprieve from these aches
from feeling drained, from the sadness i can’t satiate

what’s left of us? can you answer with honesty?
i resent you too much for you to be happy with me
i’m hanging on the truth, it’s at the tip of my tongue
i tried to feel something, but i’ve just grown numb

i fear to hurt again, i’m afraid to let you in
i lost myself that first time and i haven’t been the same since
am i a fool for you, or have i just been comfortable with abuse?
[cade armstrong]
i’m a hostage in my head
cut so deep from the words you’ve said
i can’t find relief
searching for reprieve

am i a fool for you? or have i just been comfortable with abuse?
i can’t find relief
searching for reprieve


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