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lirik lagu ugly americans - orlando

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i was sitting naked in a holiday inn down in orlando
and it was the morning of the last day of the year
i didn’t know who i was and i thought i might’ve been evan
dando
but if i was him than what the h-ll was i doing here
so i asked myself one simple question
what would i do with the rest of my life
if i knew i couldn’t fail i guess i’d get the h-ll
out of orlando and find me a rich and beautiful wife

cause i don’t want to do a d-mn thing
and i want to be appreciated
and i want to get paid well
and i don’t want to be hated
i don’t want to do a d-mn thing except lie in the sun
and be loved loved loved loved loved by everyone

so i called up the front desk to see if i could rent a p-rno
they said you better have a credit card i said honey i’m
pretty hard up
but i ain’t got no visa i said honey could you please uh help
me
she said she was sorry but i think she was just disgusted
and i was kinda disgusted myself cause it had all come down to
this
and i felt like a pervert but godd-mn it gets lonely
when you’re sitting in your hotel room naked as a jaybird
down in orlando in the middle of the night

so i called up an old friend to see how he was doing
but he sounded like a robot and it was like i barely knew him
so i said i had to go then i couldn’t take it any longer
you know the desire to throw my naked body out the fifth floor
of the holiday inn kept getting stronger
i tried to take a cold shower but i couldn’t get my nerve up
i just sat in that hotel room and tried to cut my own hair
that was the worst idea that i had all day
but godd-mn it gets lonely down in f.l.o.r.i.d.a.

then i thought to myself just what the h-ll was a jaybird
and just what the h-ll does it look like and what the h-ll am i
doing
so i tried to write a song about it but this is all i got
you know i sang it for your girlfriend and she said she liked it
a lot
except the part about killing myself and the part about trying
to find a rich wife
she said you should have gone to sea world you might have had a
better time
i said honey thanks for the input thanks for the advice
but i think that the only way i’m ever going back to orlando
is if i live life twice

cause i don’t want to do a d-mn thing
and i want to be appreciated
and i want to get paid well
and i don’t want to be hated
i don’t want to do a d-mn thing except lie in the sun


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