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lirik lagu tvbuu - feeling so numb

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lyrics:
i be feeling so numb
depression got me locked in a cage
i hate it when i feel this way
so many dreams that i wanna chase
so why do i live this way
what’s the point of me living now
so much guilt
i don’t think that i can live it down
climbing up the hill
another day i’m getting down
i don’t think
that this sh~t will ever turn around
conflicting with my brain
i think in two directions
keep on going
or just end it with this weapon
it seems like
i am cursed with this blessing
(blessing)
i am cursed with this blessing
(lessons)
i am falling in the river now
i tried to swim
but the river slowly bring me down
quicker than my middle finger
when i’m in a crowd
i try to fight the average life
but it just bring me down
——
wether it’s my anxiety
or wether it’s my depression
i don’t know where i’m gonna go
when i’m losing my self
i confess it
——
im just chilling in the studio
man f~ck it it’s the closet
i don’t got sh~t i need to hide
so sick of myself i could vomit
——
blowing every f~cking dollar
sick and tired of this m~th~f~ckin life
i wanna grab that m~th~f~ckin blade
slide it right across my throat
cause i know
that i won’t get it right
what the f~ck is wrong with myself
what the f~ck is wrong with my health
i feel like i might have a heart attack
so just leave me in the back
by f~cking self


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