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lirik lagu tim minchin - bruce

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i can see that a slice
or even two, bruce
might’ve been nice
but even you, bruce
have to admit
between you and it
there’s not a lot of difference in size

he can’t! he can! bruce!
he surely can’t! he surely can’t!
you are the man, bruce!
he might explode! he’s quite elastic
hes going to blow! make him stop!
hes fantastic! look at him go!
i can’t watch!

i think in effect
this must confirm, bruce
what we all suspected –
you have a worm, bruce
or maybe your largeness
is a bit like the tardis:
considerably roomier inside

he can’t! he can! bruce!
he surely can’t! he surely can’t!
you are the man, bruce!
b-r-o-o-c-e

bruce
the time has come to put that tumbly tum to use
you produce, bruce
fantastically enthusiastic gastric juice! oh …
eat it up! l1ck it up! suck it up!
whatever you do, don’t chuck it up and muck it up!
come on bruce, be our hero
cover yourself in chocolate glory!

bruce!
you’ll never again be subject to abuse
for your immense caboose
she’ll call a truce, bruce
with every swallow you are
tightening the noose
we never thought it was possible
but here it is coming true:
we can have our cake and eat it too

the time has come to put that tumbly tum to use
no excuse, bruce
let out your belt, i think you’ll want your trousers loose
ohhh stuff it in!
you’re almost finished!
you’ll fit it in!
whatever you do just don’t give in!
don’t let her win!
come on bruce, be our hero
cover your self in chocolate glory …

matilda
go on bruce. do it!

kids
ohhhhhhh bruce!
you’ll never again be subject to abuse
for your immense carboose
she’ll call a truce, bruce
just one more bite and you’ll’ve
completely cooked her goose
we never thought it was possible
but here it is coming true:
we can have our cake and eat it …
ahh ahh ahh ahh …

miss honey
go on brucey!


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