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lirik lagu the lonely island - anxiety

[spoken intro: bowen yang & andy samberg]
h~llo?
bowflex!
andrewh0re! what’s up, dude?
hey, are you going to the 50th?
no, actually, i don’t think i can
i’m not gonna go
what?
what are you talking about?
it’s gonna be incredible
everyone on earth is gonna be there
i know, it’s just, honestly, it stresses me out too much
what do you mean?
come on, andy, you know “snl” gives me anxiety
bowen, listen..

[verse 1: andy samberg & bowen yang]
i know you’re anxious just looking at the 30 rock sign
and when you’re inside, it gets worse
but there is one thing that you gotta keep in mind
so we’re gonna press rewind
let’s go back in time

but the reality was quite tragic
he suffered from anxiety
[spoken:]
jesus, what was that?
i don’t know what you’re talking about
that’s the footage exactly as it aired

but he suffered the anxiety

[spoken:]
i hate this

but one thing wasn’t “mah~velous.”
he had anxiety–

[chorus: andy samberg]
’cause everyone that ever worked at “snl” had anxiety
you are not alone, my friend

wait, what?
oh, yeah. tell ’em, sarah

[verse 2: sarah sherman, chris parnell, bowen yang & andy samberg]
the brain~to~gut connectional is a complex and bidirectional
a communication between the
central nervous system and your b~tt
so when you’re watching “snl”
just imagine everyone you see right before the show
went to the bathroom and took a crazy sh~t
right~
oh, if these pipes could talk. (if these pipes could talk!)
the stories they would tell. (if these pipes could talk.)
if these pipes could talk. (if these pipes could talk!)
i think they’d sound a little like this—
[spoken:]
you’ve got to stop doing that
no promises

[verse 3: andy samberg, ana gasteyer & molly shannon, both]

on the outside, calm and collected
but that’s not how they felt at all
ohh, we were freaked out as h~ll
and we wanted to die
we wished for our own deaths
and we had ibs

[spoken interlude: andy samberg & bowen yang]
but come on, guys, we have perspective
we know these are champagne problems
yes!
i mean, it’s not like we’re working in a coal mine
god, no
but here’s a secret…

[hook: andy samberg]
it’s way worse than working in a coal mine
it’s more dangerous than working in a coal mine
we would love to be working in a coal mine
just look at these coal miners drinking sweet tea
they never had to get notes from lorne
sit underneath the bleachers with lorne
[spoken:]
you’re proving my point. that sounds good to you?
yeah. now that i hear it, i might skip it, too
’cause in the end, you gotta take care of yourself
a mature decision for our mental health

[bridge: bowen yang & andy samberg]
but what if they forget about me? (don’t forget meeh~)
if i don’t go to the show, will i disappear?
or will i fall to the bottom
of the “best cast members of all time” list?
past will forte~

[spoken: w/ will forte]
what the f~ck?!
you know what? i’m in
same!

[outro: andy samberg & bowen yang, both]
’cause everyone (i get it now!)
that ever worked at “snl” had anxiety
we populate the waiting rooms
of half the therapists in new york city
every single person who ever worked at “snl” had anxiety
(clap!)
every single person who ever worked at “snl” had anxiety
(everybody!)
every single person who ever worked at “snl” had anxiety
(it’s a challenging place, but we love it!)
every single person who ever worked at “snl” had anxiety
(stress dreams for the rest of your life!)
every single person who ever worked at “snl” had anxiety
(we’re like moths to the flame!)
every single person who ever worked at “snl” had anxiety
but it burns so good

- lirik lagu the lonely island

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