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lirik lagu the legendary pink dots - (return of) the eternal optimist

i am the eternal optimist

i’m happy to report that i’m still here
despite the desperately bleak scenario i left you with when we last met

an asteroid was hurtling towards our fragile planet
and there appeared to be little hope of our survival

the good news is that a freak solar wind altered the trajectory of the object
and a mere scattering of fragments made it through thе earth’s atmosphere

the bad nеws is that the fragments broke up over nebraska
and there was torrential rain for three months
but this rain did not destroy the corn
in fact, it stimulated its growth. disturbingly

even worse
the corn grew feet and
began an inexorable march towards the border of colorado
you live on the border of colorado

that mighty colony of corn
is now just a day away
potential devastation
is just a day away
so, what can i, the eternal optimist
offer you on a day such as this?

well, you always enjoyed your slice of toast in the morning
but you’ve been cutting back because raging inflation had blown the price of bread sky high
no need for that drive to walmart now!

then there’s the matter of your ex~wife
all those messages expressing a desire for revenge
and a threat to burn down your house
now, she will not find your house

in fact, no one will ever find your house again
no more bills you cannot afford to pay
no irritating salesmen
no jehovah’s witnesses
no raccoons raiding the trashcan

am i comforting you?

i, the eternal optimist
will always give you the comfort you crave

so how about you, brother?

yes, you. with the long face
sitting alone in your tiny room
surrounded by boxes
life is cruel
and feelings of ecstasy can be so fleeting

just last week, you felt like your moment had arrived
the perfect set of numbers on a lottery ticket

you merely had to cash it in

and, of course, you did
you did it with cameras flashing
the world out there applauding
scant bikinis
champagne fountains

forget any notion of anonymity

your face was everywhere

but then the economy collapsed before you made it to the bank
you boxed up your possessions far to quickly, my friend

because, well, you will not be moving out of that flat for a while

worse still, the blaze of publicity has lead to a long line of desperados holing cups outside your front door

they believe you have something to give them
but you don’t
so, what can i, the eternal optimist, offer you on a day such as this?

well, you could say you enjoyed the kind of moment few of us ever get to experience

and, as a result, you will never be lonely again

just look at them out there
they want you

and didn’t you once admit
that you only ever had a desire to feel wanted?

i, the eternal optimist, want you, too
d~mn it
everybody wants you

i am the eternal optimist
and, never before, have i felt so needed

my mission is to point to a better place
a tangible place

not in the clouds, but right here in your back yard

you do not need to thank me
as that would make me cry
and who needs the sorry site of an optimist’s tears?

i’m the eternal optimist and i’m with you right now

now. and forever. and forever. and forever. and forever. and forever. and forever. and forever. and forever. and forever

- lirik lagu the legendary pink dots

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