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lirik lagu the chap - 20105pm

(o.a.k.)
lately i been feeling paranoid, uh
black hole taking all my f~ckin’ joy, uh
not again, fall in a depression coma
next thing i know, i wake up all alone, uh
wonder when this f~ckin’ pain gonna dissipate
wonder when this f~ckin’ rain gonna go away
wonder when i’m gonna wake up from this nightmare
wonder if i’m gonna see god when i get there (ayy)
disappointment to my family, who am i to say
that i deserve a little love? i’m just a waste of sp~ce
wish my addictions woulda took me when they had the chance
but now i’m clean, can’t go back to that sh~t again
scared to lose myself, but i’m scared of change
like why the f~ck do i gotta be this way?
like why the f~ck do i hurt the ones i love?
like why the f~ck i live to see the motherf~ckin’ sun?
one more hit and i’ll get clean (i promise)
one more gram, and i mean it (i promise)
20 dollars every week (f~ck)
get a bag, spent to lean (ugh)
does knowing me more, lead to loving me less?
i got this hole in my chest, i got a bunch of regrets
sh~t i tried to express
but they aren’t hearing me now, just like they weren’t hearing me then (uhh)
hoping god will forgive me, uh
am i worthy of forgiveness?
father, i know i’m a sinner
please forgive me, i’m repenting
they gave me an inch, no motivation for the rest of the mile
bullet casings, i put them in a pile
got me stretching for the yard, no clue if i’ll make it further
wanted love, i got a scar and a burn in return
take what i wanna, b~tch, f~ck what i earned
if you wanna start beef, you can pull up and scr~p
but otherwise, get the f~ck up off of my back
it’s funny how i’m never enough, but i’m always too much
i been f~cking chasing my soul, but i’ll prolly just give up
kinda wish that you’d lied, kinda wish you wasn’t honest
kinda with that l’d died, which i wasn’t so heartless
am i worthy of heaven when i get up there to the pearly white gates?
did i do enough good in my life to be considered one of the greats?
did she love me or not at the end of my time when it’s all said and done?
or did i make irreversible mistakes that i should never have done, uh?
do you accept my soul forever, or am i just gonna end up in h~ll?
can you please help save my soul, god? ‘cuz if i lose it, i lose myself
2:01:05pm and, i think i might be out of control
and if i don’t have you with me, father, i know i’m gonna lose all hope
yeah, up at night, i can’t sleep
detached from reality
constant thoughts in my head on repeat
like if i f~ck up, are you gonna leave, huh?
yeah, if i hurt you, are you gonna stay?
if i lash out, will you be there telling me that sh~t gon’ be okay?
motherf~ckers lyin’ on my name, and i can’t catch a break, b~tch
motherf~ckers tryna shapeshift
morphing like they fix pain and sh~t
buggin’ like it was a laced hit
hyper like i’m sniffin’ ‘caine, sh~t
if you were mad, would you stay? (mad, would you stay?)
if it was bad, would you stay? (bad, would you stay?)
i gotta know this sh~t (i gotta know this sh~t)
would you love me the same? (love me the same, ayy)
(ayy, love me the s~)
(would you love me the sa~)
(uh, would you love me the s~)

- lirik lagu the chap

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