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lirik lagu telethon - tiny rushes

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sorry, still at home right now
i’m caught up in this spiderweb
this lonesome crowded wasteland
oh, mankind

i had not expected
i’d be here on a third consecutive night

yet here i am regardless
spending time
and spending money i don’t have to spend
my time and money here but still i do
a habit that’s enabled by a tiny rush of dopamine
whenever
i leave raw thought on a page that isn’t mine
no one requested it but
they sometimes pay it mind
i’m high

i feel better here
until the brush is cleared and i’m revealed
a lonesome, tired bearded man
mid-20s
p-ssing through
in blue jeans, midnight, up to nothing
layered windows
unt-tled folders on his desktop
big ideas scatter and they whine
dump out as quick as they arrived
he’s lost the pigment in his skin
his friends and family worry
that he’s lost all his affection
as the tiny rush of dopamine
lures him in again
but this time was different


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