
lirik lagu t. sam - tired
[intro]
mmh
it’s a lot and a half
it’s a lot and a half
okay
[verse 1]
what do you talk about when nothing comes to mind?
my thoughts loudly fill my ears and cover my eyes
time folding over itself within my mind
i’ve lived 10’000 lives in a fraction of days and nights
i wish i could retain the information i gain
when i stray from presence
walking through my own mental plane
cause i swear it’s like living a life
learning and growing, gaining wisdom
i figure when i come back
that i shouldn’t be the same
i believe i should be different
my behavior should change
as my frame of what i’ve lived with
some people say visualization’s just as good as lifting
cause your system remembers and fixes divots in your grey matter
but these days i stay sadder than putting milk in before the cereal
tryna get to the truth, and stray [away] from delerium
i see disappointment coming, i greet it like “here it comes”
expecting a problem has always been my rule of thumb
[verse 2]
isolation and separation
distance been my lived in disposition, i live in dazes
live in the night, that’s when i do my contemplations
when i yearn the most for the warming of loving faces
i swear that i don’t wanna be here anymore, bro
like, it’s so f~cking tiring, i just wanna quit
i’m doing a bit better than i was before, but i
don’t have the energy required to activate
and i don’t feel qualified to do the things that made my name
why should i draw attention, i might just be in the way?
why should i practice speaking when i don’t got nun to say?
talk to my spirit and remind me that i have a reason
cause i don’t desire to go through time and continue being
maybe the frequency that i’m at don’t match the vibe of your encouraging
nourishing words and that’s why i don’t receive them
but that’s the long and short of it
[chorus]
i’ve been tired
for a long time
why should i have to fight
when i might just be wasting time?
[verse 3]
i ain’t never said that sh~t out loud before
that i don’t wanna live
i don’t care nothing bout growing up
and having wife and kids
it seems so beautiful
it’s truly beautiful, i swear it is
i’m 24, but i be thinking that’s just on another hill
it’s not even like i plan to leave the earth
cause i don’t
i just need my inner man to see my worth
what i need is some magnesium
an easy one to help me ease into some focus
i just want to cease to exist
i don’t want to go to work
i don’t want to go to school
i don’t want to plan the next few years of
what i’m gonna do
i don’t want to push and press
i don’t want to be up next
i don’t want to pick up by my bootstraps and
be the best
i just want to stop everything and just rest
and reset
long enough, however long it takes me to forget
and regret until there’s no more regret left
until i can truly know myself and be dead set
on living an authentic life
[interlude]
until i can just be
without feeling the need to do anything
until the “should” or “should be”
looming over my head is gone
and i’m being everything i talk about becoming
when i can practice what i preach to myself, sh~t
i look back over my words and realize that i sound stupid
like what would possess me to say that i don’t want to live?
or how’d i digress from the pressing matter
just because i felt sadder, now i say i don’t want to do it
sam, what gives?
it don’t even make sense
where is this coming from?
i don’t always feel the same ish
my shoes don’t know what solution to step in
know it but can’t put my steps in
i’m beckoned by an alternate dimension
of an optimal inception
of a better state of being
supposedly in the present
or supposed to be
i feel so distant from people who say they close to me
and truth be told it’s the weight of this distance holding me
but no one’s holding me
this sh~t hurts
and it’s not ending…
but that’s the long and short of it
[outro]
as long as i keep striving
i could see light
i long to feel alive
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