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lirik lagu syrespite - the broken savior’

[verse 1]
april of this year, was in fear of crashin’ my rear
desolation has worsened that it’d blur the mirror
but i found myself reunited, so i’d thank the pink hair
as we united ourselves with care~
that we never had, in glimpse towards the light; end of a tunnel
but the suicide of swordy had me coughin’ up, i cried
because this isn’t the first time i’ve hauled up, it was a struggle
seein’ the people you’d know, even mutuals, that’ve died
survivor’s guilt consumed, and even she refused~
because we knew how life can be cruel; wish we helped him through
but n0body knew about his troubles, it was out the blue’
so, i thought of usin’ my energy, to be therapeutic
to save everybody from a fate that could be picked
i reminded them of their choices, in speakin’ up with voices
to rebound from the poison that could jus’ destroy us
never did i call myself a therapist, ‘was more of an advocate~
managed to save the majority, but the scars on my body
they were beginnin’ to bleed again, but i didn’t notice it then
initially, i had mistaken it as stress for such bless’

[chorus]
how do i forgive myself from this guilt?
because i don’t know how to stand still
lookin’ at the bridges i’ve built, now that it’ll burn
i apologize for those that i’ve k!lled, to bury my hurts
ain’t that just selfish? but it wasn’t for pride
but it is time i look after the, “i”
because i never had myself to begin with~
i was the broken savior, in sacrificing for others
[verse 2]
her condition had worsen; how some cases left open
investigations jus wasn’t well~spoken (uh)
took everything in to ensure she doesn’t conceal her soul
because times were buryin’ the warmth like the winter~cold
but at the same time, i was aiding so much people
a time heist in their pupils, from an eye of an eagle
i was genuine and regal, in hopes of it being reciprocated
but it was already an anvil, a side heavier; i was insulated
and i thought it’d be a, “hate me” if i took a break~
and it kind of was as the people didn’t get what they wanted’
could tell if they got distant, showin’ resentments through symptoms
a tug of war without and within’ is the best description~
f~ckin’ birth of a sin, and i didn’t know how to rinse
had me absent in my religion, was noddin’ off when i’d listen
the void in myself got vivid, and i was barely livin’
an eating disorder isn’t aesthetics~
because i hated every f~ckin’ minute of it, drownin’ in guilt (uh)
july in midst, lost ‘nother brother and it’s somethin’ i couldn’t dismiss
holy sh~t, the pressure is implicit, cloudin’ me and mist
nowadays, i sit back and think wondering: “is this the right pick?”
reflecting on the movies, in writin’ our future diaries
the gamenights, and investigations of decodin’ binaries
never forgettin’ those times, how we were in the lead’
maybe we could’ve had longevity, if the pressure was equally
because it was truthfully just me, handlin’ everything, honestly~
[chorus]
how do i forgive myself from this guilt?
because i don’t know how to stand still
lookin’ at the bridges i’ve built, now that it’ll burn
i apologize for those that i’ve k!lled, to bury my hurts
ain’t that just selfish? but it wasn’t for pride
but it is time i look after the, “i”
because i never had myself to begin with~
i was the broken savior, in sacrificing for others

[verse 3]
me and pink hair paved our farewells, i’d hope her the best
knowin’ that we’ll both be there, she doesn’t need to stress
as your mental disorders don’t define you, let your soul find you’
don’t rental mortars that’d blow you, in pretendin’ of sowin’ you
because bein’ lonely isn’t just fixed by company
you are your own of being, “the one & only”
i’m f~ckin’ proud of you, do you hear me?
but don’t ‘down it and severely forget yourself, sincerely
now, i face the guilt directly and it just k!lls me’
how selfish am i to leave the people behind, and then hide?
to avoid conversations because they’d all want a savior
but ignore my void, simulations of the same behavior
so i had to disbandon’ us, but y’all formulated without blueprints
was i just, “scandalous” to y’all, even though i did everythin’ to uplift?
it feels like y’all hold negativity for the decision that i’ve published
so the guilt consumes me in seconds than minutes (uh)
the things i’ve done and did, for people to then make digs’
how hard the truth hits, and it tears my heart into bits’
this was never expected, for an end of this unit’
but it couldn’t be accepted, all of this backbiting and gossip~
just had the g’ infested, and i’ve tried my best to stop it’
but i’d stress as it made the g inactive, changin’ up the climate
deeping this, as time’s together was ’bout a community
but never a unity for all of us to be~
or just me being used as, “therapy” so i’d hope you see
how ridiculed i was to not have privacy to my peace, ’cause i never had any~ (uhm)
so, disbandin’ was the only way, for the pure intentions
of having better days, ‘stead of a bed of lethal injections
i still love y’all, because it’s been a wild ride
but i’ve tried, everything and it nearly led me to have died’
so, i’m sorry but we can’t just live a life of a lie’
too many times we’ve cried, where our eyes are dried
so carryin’ on, “this legacy” is fried, and i declare that the gc’ has met its time
[chorus]
how do i forgive myself from this guilt?
because i don’t know how to stand still
lookin’ at the bridges i’ve built, now that it’ll burn
i apologize for those that i’ve k!lled, to bury my hurts
ain’t that just selfish? but it wasn’t for pride
but it is time i look after the, “i”
because i never had myself to begin with~
i was the broken savior, in sacrificing for others

[outro]
i was the broken savior, in pursue of helping others
now, i’m the savior for myself to see the ‘rays of summers
better days that i’d pave for, for so long’
for so long

- lirik lagu syrespite

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