lirik lagu syrespite - blood on my hands
[verse 1: sy & her]
the thoughts of havin’ blood on my hands
of such exposure on woman and man’
but i did what i had to do, in order for ’em to understand
change comes within’, not a snake only shreddin’ skin
that’s just the devil beautifying the sin’
wit’ me in the cut, encouraging it in~
and yet again, i’m speakin’ like i’m innocent
my relationship wit’ my past, based on limerence
can’t buy time back nor’ reduce my incidents
so i took oipoids to deal with the rest of my irritants
that lays in my mind, buried; coffin
and they’d awake from their caskets when dark’s in~
the skeletons took advantage, invadin’ my vessel
hence why insomnia’ was apparent, all in (mhm)
and that’s what i’ve dealin’ with majority of the previous year
needed time to process but i wasn’t here~
no, actually, i was for others so they can hear (i see)
usin’ my experience to teach, to wipe their tears
’cause they never had the support to face their fears
so i had enough, i stepped in, crashed in their ‘rear
in order for ’em to notice, and for them to focus
an introduction, to what? the bigger and better (okay)
mhm, now we all f~ckin’ ball like 23s; cavaliers (haha)
so, i’m glad to advocate for ’em, ’cause i never had
emotionally~intelligence~warrior opposite of khalid ibn al~walid
but my lack of process caught up, almost relapsed
almost died to my own hands, why ain’t i my own man?
i understand your sense of pain
but it don’t feel like god acknowledge mines, in vain~
[bridge: sy & her]
gone distant and that’s my fault, and i’m the blame
why can’t i see myself to f~ckin’ change?
mhm
[verse 2: sy & his]
thought sacrificin’ parts of me was worthy
but it was the opposite, it only got the fragments dirty
mhm, i can understand why they all groomed me
i was too gullible, all because that i felt lonely
i’m glad that ain’t on a tendency, for a dependency
’cause it just wouldn’t be geniune, open manipulation
it’d darken the red on the devil, distractions: his radiation
yeah, i’d question god’ for what he puts as obstacles
it’s ~rs~nal, every experience i go through, you can see particles
of my soul f~cking dissolvin’ away, am i even responsible?
helped the people when they wanted nirvana; told ’em to keep living
yeah, because everything geniunely happens for a reason
they’d be blinded by their hurts, isn’t ’cause they’d be slipping
it’s because it’s an unexpected experience~
wishin’ i didn’t lose a few to their battles, i’ve been missing
that’s on them, why are you feelin’ at such guilt?
i should’ve been there for them more, i’d even take a slit
stop blaming yourself, ’cause that ain’t it
but i’m not sure if i do have myself
okay, but, you did what you can
carin’ about others, but yourself, yeah, i can tell
but i’ve fell, then again, i’d experience h~ll
a rollercoaster of trauma, it’s been such f~ckin’ conflict
but you said it yourself, that there’s ease after hardship
it’s what god promised, why would he be contradicting?
he’s doing what’s needed, not for what you wanted
so why does he dare to forgive a sinner?
most of my problems stemmed from i, no peace in inner
because the best sinners are those who’d repent to the creator
but you d~mn’ underestimate yourself, always for later
and that time doesn’t come, you’re your own traitor
so how do i k!ll the person in the mirror?
tried it so many times, didn’t ask to even be here
lookin’ at it from a single perspective, hence why it’s negative
you’re truly gullible when the weather hits;
stop dwelling on its reasons: get through it and then you’ll understand its narrative
to be descriptive, god picked you and it sure does hit
gone through traumatic, mhm, there’s no denying about it
but you’d play it smart, you’d use it to help people, advocatin’ it
many people wouldn’t do that, and that’s just being honest
it does hurts but you need yourself, no need for bein’ toxic~
~to yourself, you’ve changed so much, from a bunch of ol’ chronics
where other people thought they’d suffice, but became victims
you need yourself more than anythin’, so listen
but it sounds selfish~
but your self~worth doesn’t exist
so at least contribute to it, don’t let you go off~script
i know it’s hard, but that’s the beauty of it
so, i should take myself serious? it’s what i’ve been missing
all my sufferings: i haven’t endured it, but just stored it
thought i was doin’ right, but wasn’t properly usin’ the materials
it’s explains why inside my chest, it’s been hideous
now lookin’ at it, i think it’s quite hilarious
it’d be like that, but you know now that you got yourself to work on?
yeah, i do now
it’s not forlorn for how you’d think of it as
and you’re not at faults for the people that have passed
and you ain’t in responsibility for people’s vitals, even elly has said that~
mhm, and i’m mad that it took me this long
yeah, but know it isn’t too late, so read this song
this is an album where me and i converse
buryin’ my hurts, hit a rebirth to unlock my worth
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