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lirik lagu stranger sings! the parody musical - welcome to hawkins

[mike]
it’s a dark and stormy night

[dustin, spoken]
oh no!

[lucas, spoken]
shut up!

[mike]
the kind of darkness that fills you with fright

[dustin, spoken]
we’re dead, we’re dead!

[lucas, spoken]
shh!

[mike]
out of the shadows comes a creature with nine heads

[lucas, spoken]
the demagorgon!

[dustin, spoken]
you’re screwed, dude
[will, spoken]
nooo…

[mike]
here he comes with giant t~~th
will, will you admit defeat

[lucas]
no! roll a seven
cast a protection spell or

[dustin, spoken]
fireball!

[mike, spoken]
you can’t do that! you have to have the golden femur of kthulu to cast a fireball!

[dustin, spoken]
mike, there are literally no rules for this game. we are making them up as we go along

[mike]
will, what are you going to choose
if you screw this up you lose

[will]
i’ll cast a magic spell with a fl!ck of my wand
[mike]
and you’re dead

[will, spoken]
what?!

[mike]
the demagorgon rips off your head
and that ends hour two~hundred seventy~nine of the game

[mrs. wheeler, spoken]
michael wheeler, it is way past your bedtime. now you boys march upstairs and head straight home. mama’s gotta get in her hot bath with her p~rn novels

[mike/lucas/dustin/will, spoken]
awww mom/that’s just gross/mrs. wheeler…/ewww

[all]
we wanna welcome you to hawkins
where everything is a total cliche
we’re just like folks from classic film and tv shows
it’s nostalgic and you love us that way

we live a safe simple life here in hawkins
our government says theres nothing to fear
expect nothing but the everyday normal
cuz stranger things have never happened here
[barb, spoken]
oh my gosh nancy, greg n. thought that blouse you wore today was pretty neat

[nancy, spoken]
ugh, that greg n. is such a skeez. he’s nothing like that steve harrington

oh my gosh!

[nancy]
this morning when i got to school
he was in the hallway looking cool
and i smiled and i swear he smiled back at me

[barb, spoken]
no way

[nancy]
yes! but my heart beat out~ta my chest
when he told me “you got nice br~~sts”

[barb, spoken]
oh wow

[nancy]
and then he winked at me
and girl i melted like you wouldn’t believe
i can’t wait ’til the day i get to marry steve

[steve, spoken]
did somebody say my name?

[all]
we love our stereotypes in hawkins
we rounded out every type we could bear
we’ve got the hotties nerds and lame~ass parents
and everyone’s got giant teased hair

we’re simple~minded people here in hawkins
we lean conservative and n0body’s queer
those kinds of people may be in other towns
but stranger things have never happened here

[will, spoken]
bye nancy! i hope you have a good night’s rest

[steve, spoken]
um, what the h~ll was that?

[nancy, spoken]
oh, that’s just mike’s nerdy little loser friend, will

[will]
i may be small
i may not be great
i may have hit my peak at four~foot~eight
but i know there’s something bigger in me still

i may be a nerd and allergic to ants
one time i talked to a girl and wet my pants
but like my bladder my dreams are bursting at the seams

so i’ll never be the cool kid
i’ll never be a prince
though my mom says smarts are just as s~xy to women still
i may never save the day but
imagine if i did
the world would never see it comin’
from one small boy named will

[mike, spoken]
will, you sure you don’t want someone to escort you back to your creepy, secluded house in the woods?

[will, spoken]
i’m fine! i can take care of myself

[mike, spoken]
okay, see ya!

[will/(all)]
but i’ll never get to truly fly in hawkins
(look at him, he’s such a nerd)
cuz i’m grounded by convention here in hawkins
(nerds like him will never be anything)
but some day this whole town will see
(ahhhhhhh)
the hero that’s inside of me
(ahhhhhhhhhhh)
and they’ll never believe what just one small boy has within
(one small boy, one small boy)
i’m just waiting for life to begin
(look at that one small boy go!)
and in dreams i can fly like the eagles and~

[all]
so something strange has just happened in hawkins

[nancy, spoken]
we just lost power! oh wait, now it’s back on

[all]
it seems like nothing but it’s really concerning
cuz nothing here has ever gone wrong
blackouts never happen without reason
what’s going on in our little town
just take our vague concern as exposition
cuz stranger things
stranger things
stranger things
are happening here in hawkins
here in hawkins
here in hawkins

[dustin, spoken]
nothing bad ever happens in small towns!

- lirik lagu stranger sings the parody musical

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