lirik lagu split 50 - sheep
[spoken interlude: “michael standefer”, “cornelio churro”, “mr. punk”]
h~llo everyone, this is michael “find the truth” standefer reporting to you live on kztr radio
today we’re at the national music association’s annual a&r convention
helping us today is our translator cornelio churro, say h~llo cornelio
h~llo everybody
okay, let’s get things kicked off here with our first interview
our guest today is a top a&r executive at n0body home records
now he wants to remain anonymous because he does not want any unsolicited calls or materials sent to him
so we’ve agreed to refer to him as “mr. punk”, how are you doing mr. punk?
~baa~
he said he’s doin’ fine
okay, now most people out there don’t know what an a&r rep really is, mr. punk. explain exactly what your job is
~baa~
he said his job is like to be a leader of the pack
~baa~
to find the new talent, to sign that talent, and to help develop that talent and record their records
hmm, and how do you find that talent?
~baa~
you listen to demo tapes people send in, and go to clubs and concerts and help keep the heat to the street for anything new and exciting
now what about the rumors that all a&r reps really do is sit on their ass in their office, never answer calls or listen to demo tapes, act like groupies, can’t recognize talent from their f~dg~~packed ass, and don’t actually have the authority to sign an expense invoice
~baa~
he said it’s no~o~o~ot true
okay, now why is it that today’s a&r reps only sign either a brother, son, cousin, or a friend of a known rapper, or rappers who’ve already sold records on their own independent labels?
~baa~
whoa, hold on, i’m not done yet. could this be proof that you’re really not a leader but actually a follower that doesn’t know how to find talent, that you have no talent, that your job and title are a joke, that you’re nothing but a glorified groupie with a n~ts~ck the size of peanuts with an ass made for f~cking and a mouth made for sucking?
~baa~
well he said fu~u~u~uck you
~baa~
whoa, where are you going mr. punkie?
well, he must’ve he had another d~ck to suck
we’ve got to go to a comercial now, but we’ll have more coverage of the ama d~ck suckers~ i mean a&r reps convention back in a moment
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