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lirik lagu spiral staircase - shell of a human

my hair
my skin
estrogen
catalyst of sin
my face
absent mind
im nothing but the sh~ll of whats inside
my voice
my body
fetishist
the way i write and all within
my wrists
m~s~ch~st
am i nothing but the sh~ll of a human
my hair (my skin)
my skin (my skin)
estrogen (smooth skin)
catalyst of sin (woman)
my face (masculine)
absent mind (no mind)
i’m nothing but the sh~ll of what’s inside
my voice (too deep)
my body (whaleish)
fetishist (fetishist)
the way i write and all within
my wrists (are safe from harm)
m~s~ch~st (s~d~st)
am i nothing but the sh~ll of a human
what would he do if i changed my (censor)
what would he do if he found my (censor)
what would he do if he saw me in (censor)
what if he heard someonе call me (censor)
he answеred my questions
in the most ominous way
he said “i’ll take you to someone to talk to
because you’re obviously ill”
he would never love me as who i wanted to be
when i was young he took me out to the porch and told me
whatever you end up being in the future i’ll support you no matter what
that was never true. it was just supposed to make me feel good
he would only be proud if i was who he shaped me to be
but what he shaped me to be was something he hated
i just wanted to be loved by my (censor)
no love is enough
to be disowned by the ones who created you

i get why my (censor) is mean and vulgar
i’ve done the same thing to my friend
i’ve always thought of him as my younger brother
i never got a chance to be the older
it’s why i’m so numb
i don’t know what anyone did

why am i so desensitized to the concept of molestation
why do i flinch when someone raises their arm
why do i cry when someone yells
why do i feel covered in filth
why do i want to run away
why would i want to k!ll myself
why do i scream and cry when someone grabs my left thigh
why do i get such deranged thoughts
like “i want to mutilate my face so no one could see how i look”
or “i would like to drink all his alcohol and collapse drunk in front of him”
or “i wanna lie to everyone and say i’m a pedo and i torture animals for my pleasure”
so no one would be sad when i k!lled myself”
i shouldn’t be thinking these things
i should be happy and grateful
that i was put on this earth
but it feels like everything wants me off
i wish the ones who created me would love me for who i am
and not for who they want me to be
i wanna be your daughter
i wanna be your daughter
i’ve wanted this since i was little
i can’t stop thinking about it
i can’t stop f~cking thinking about it
i get you are all disappointed
but i’m tired of keeping my f~cking mouth shut
i can’t live in silence
i’m hard enough on my brain
if i’m not (censor), then what am i to you
if i run away, and your sons not here
if i k!ll myself and only (censor) remains
would you disown me or would you feel ashamed
if you’re not happy with who i am
then why don’t you say it
be a f~cking man
when i’m drunk
do you see yourself
am i just a leech
to your bank account

when i take my van to get the f~ck out of town
will you even miss me if i’m not around
do i just annoy you or f~ck up your day
do you even hear these lyrics anyway
when all that’s left is the memory
of when i was just your baby
is all that matters just your politics
is all that matters just your politics

my hair
my skin
estrogen
catalyst of sin
my face
absent mind
im nothing but the sh~ll of whats inside
my voice
my body
fetishist
the way i write and all within
my wrists are safe from harm
m~s~ch~st
am i nothing but the sh~ll of a human
my hair
my skin
estrogen
catalyst of sin
my
my face
absent mind
i’m nothing but the sh~ll of what’s inside
my voice
my body
fetishist
the way i write and all within
my wrists
m~s~ch~st
am i nothing but the sh~ll of a human
am i a human to you
am i a human to you
am i a human to you
am i a human to you
am i a human to you
am i a human to you
am i a human to you
am i a human to you
am i a human to you
am i a human to you
am i a human to you
am i a human to you
am i a human to you
am i a human to you
am i a human to you
am i a human to you
am i a human to you
am i a human to you
am i a human to you
am i a human to you
am i a human to you
am i a human to you
am i a human to you
am i a human to you
am i a human to you
am i a human to you
am i a human to you
am i a human to you
am i a human to you
am i a human to you
am i a human to you
am i a human to you
am i a human to you
am i a human to you
am i a human to you
am i a human to you
am i a human to you
am i a human to you
am i a human to you
am i a human to you
am i a human to you
am i a human to you
am i a human to you
am i a human to you
am i a human to you
am i a human to you
am i a human to you
am i a human to you
am i a human to you
am i a human to you
am i a human to you
am i a human to you
am i a human to you
am i a human to you
am i a human to you
am i a human to you
am i a human to you
am i a human to you
am i a human to you
am i a human to you
am i a human to you
am i a human to you
am i a human to you
am i a human to you
am i a human to you
am i a human to you
am i a human to you
am i a human to you
am i a human to you
am i a human to you
am i a human to you
am i a human to you
am i a human to you

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- lirik lagu spiral staircase

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