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lirik lagu soreksem - human

[verse 1]
thought i was enlightened cos i opened my third iris
problem didn’t know about this trauma i was hiding
really tried to move it forward, but it’s hard to keep it guided
when your youngest memories all consisted of your mumma crying

doing things not true to me, it didn’t glue the seams
movements were influenced, truth confused eluded me
no clue on who to be
uproot the root of insecurity, it’s new to me
intrude into the music scene and use it to get through to mе

see i’ve got sh~t to conquer, my own father was a monstеr
i’m a witness, victim narcissistic forms of mental torture
taught to modify and switch like every single thing i thought of
if i didn’t i was finished, i resorted staying cautious

born inside of fear we had to walk inside the borders
forced to repress every tear we had to fit inside the formless
now the storm is gone, it’s ordered and my mother stands a goddess
though i wonder how she prospered as a hostage in that fortress

a prison in our living room, forbidden to run so to speak
this terror isn’t error, it was meant for me supposed to be
internalise, believe with low esteem at 3: “it’s only me”
i’ll cope believing broken dreams just hoping he would notice me
my psyche gets divided like which side is right? i can’t decide
conflicting needs, they lie inside
get safety with a dying light
disassociate, cos my emotions are not safe
they could be the ones to harm us if i try communicate

now my belly wasn’t empty, what i lacked was love on plate
so i blocked the personality, attached it with the fake
cos it’s hard to choose reality when factories are safe
only backed up by a fallacy this actor on his stage

escaping my own dome was chosen way that i could cope
at 14, a core theme was stifle pain with lighting dope
sprayed graffiti across my city couldn’t stay inside my home
then it shifted turning 16, couple chains had tied a rope

accepted testing ecstasy, my lenses shift to empathy
that thing that we call jealousy, i came to see it differently
how could another brother’s happiness not be a win for me?
i think i’ll start pursuing things that lead us to our inner we

that chemical’s illegal, but makes me just gain respect for other people
i don’t feel anymore evil, man i think there’s more than we know
so i started going deeper
do they really want us safe or want us following a leader?
[chorus]
only human i conform into the story i was born into
we utilise devices but the mind it doesn’t cost to use
i’d rather pay attention to my essence can’t afford to snooze
cos being my own leader was just something i was born to do

only human i conform into the story i was born into
we utilise devices but the mind it doesn’t cost to use
i’d rather pay attention to my essence can’t afford to snooze (yeah)
cos being my own leader was just something i was born to do

[verse 2]
my next teacher psilocybin
different students, different movements
to each his own assignment
trynna find an ‘x’, i’d rather find myself

i see we swallow blue pills and
follow news reels
friends, trends but heart is left and
that right there is too real

aimed to make a mark with soul
but only dragged my shoe heel
18 wasn’t target scoring, goals conceded 2 nil
as a little kid, if he wasn’t gaslit
would he trust his reality and never question it?

would i not be insecure and embrace who i was?
more expression in my chest with every statement i voice?
would i rap not as monotone with bass in my bones?
if my dad weren’t overblown and dominated his thrown?

if i had a chance then i would pay that little boy
a visit, make him safe and watch his face fill up with joy
heart is bled i ask and beg for ways to fill the void
arm and leg this karmic debt if payment was a choice

what if growing didn’t mean we had to conquer what is painful
what if god he really needs for us to offer it as ‘thank you’?
what if we all hold the key and that’s the reason why they cage you
wonder, could we all be free if we just leave out all the labels?

food for thought, in my pantry it’s a staple
get it through your grapefruit
bestest medicine is always one that’s most painful
the bitter ones they change you, never spit it, always “thank you”

we’re connected to the same truth
appearing separated but connected through the same roots
duality it made you
all this energy the goal is to get stable
i’m not here to to name it, i just call it homeostasis

label picking fl!cking through the pages of our history
same dish of religion, different flavours in the kitchen
ways to pitch it differ, but the players keep on singing
they don’t need their rhythms mirrored
cos the maker’s the one listening

[chorus]
only human i conform into the story i was born into
we utilise devices but the mind it doesn’t cost to use
i’d rather pay attention to my essence can’t afford to snooze
cos being my own leader was just something i was born to do

- lirik lagu soreksem

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