lirik lagu slim rxvpxr - imnotcrazyimjustbroken
(it’s like someone lifted a lid on the top of my head
and said “i will take all of your will, and i will take all of your energy.”
see my mind’s screaming “we got loads to do today.”
but my body won’t comply
no, it won’t play
and together we stare at the ceiling like it’s most interesting thing in the room
even though there’s a thousand other things i’d rather do
i dragged myself out the bed, and walked to the bathroom as if i was bound by ball and chain
i look in the mirror to find my face looking got, and strained
see, i’ve had the same sleep as everyone
but there’s heavy sandbags droops beneath my eyes
brushing my t~~th seems like slow~motion
as if somebody’s holding my arms back
had to call work and say i’m sick for the fourth time this year
see it’s that look on my boss’ face that i feel
it’s how no matter how i felt
that face in doubt
i require light because my pain
is unbearable sadness
slip of the irony because
when i’m two weeks from now
just know
i told you
now i may rest in peace)
understand that i have a little bit of issues upstairs in my mental
which then drives me to the bottle
test my limits to be experimental
when i meet with satan
it seems like he’ll be the only one who isn’t judgmental
and i’m hoping when i arrive in the pit of flames
he’ll reap my soul and just be gentle
i look all around me and ask
“is there something legitimately wrong with me?”
or is it all just a phase
i doubt it
because when i look in the mirror
i don’t like who i see
all this pain held deep inside my chest
finally now these words are spoken
i’m hoping that you all finally understand
that i’m not crazy
i’m just broken
sad
never wanted talked about it
remember?
we were joking
about how i f~cked around with knots
when i was practicing with my roping
i didn’t have anything better to do with my life
so i started picking up smoking
i can’t even get to the daily stroking
because my bed is soaking
from the wounds that are open
i know there’s no one around me that will help me sew it up
i tried to drown it by constantly getting f~cked up
and lost behind the cup
but i found out the hard way that
that sh~t doesn’t do nearly enough
instead it makes things worse by putting me either in a hospital bed
or locked in cuffs
died a few years back that’s when all these f~cking problems began
i took all these shots of liquor
hoping that enough of a man’s drink would turn me into a man
to be with you
and all the others i’ve lost so far was my intention and my plan
now these days roll around the calendar
i say i can do this when i know i d~mn well can’t
i’m at your graveyard but that sh~t doesn’t help
it just makes me breakdown
i’m dropped to my knees in sadness
it’s an abundance of tears that’s about to make me drown
ironic how there’s so many people next to me when it all feels like a ghost town
people ask me “who do i love?”
they’re the closest thing to my heart
sad to say they’re never around
each step i take
i roll out of bed
feels like i’m dragging cinder blocks
i spent hours staring at the ceiling
or hear the tick~tick off the f~cking clocks
if you were looking for happiness in my body
i’m sorry
i’m indefinitely out of stock
people look at me when i say i’m depressed
it doesn’t surprise me when they say they ain’t shocked
because i’m basically going around in f~cking circles in my brain
and revisiting all these thoughts
so i can feel something, but it’s nothing but f~cking pain
these tears pour out until there’s nothing that remains
and everything is drained
well nothing’s changed so i guess i have to accept that maybe i am a little insane
wanna know what it feels like to get through this?
because i’d like to know as well
i could be sent to heaven to see all my loved ones
but i know i’m gonna end up in h~ll
now these days this feels like this is too much to people
i’m stuck walking on egg~sh~lls
it got me wishing i could go back to when i was nothing more than just a sperm cell
left me so f~cking broken
wondering should i just give in and quit
this life is too inconsistent for me
because it’s suicide i think i have to commit
i talk to others about saving themselves
so i guess that makes me a hypocrite
i’m done
this is now it
i suggest you go pick out your black outfits
some people cry
when it’s all over their tv
and their local news
n0body paid him any attention
until now, it was his life that was through
now gone forever
you’ll feel the pain
when it’s the skies that you’re praying to
i’m now stuck in a place where i no longer have to feel guilty about missing you
but you’d probably just laugh when you see
and say something like
“finally, at last”
i didn’t mean to harass you when you left
all i did was f~cking ask
why did you decide to play with my heart
which is now forever stuck inside a cast?
maybe this will make you see
but it’s too late because my existence is in the past
i’m dragged out of the he~rs~ slowly
there’s no one around to mourn or cry
was only a matter of time before this young man finally became one with the sky
why didn’t anyone meet him eye to eye and prevent the noose from being tied?
are you all really this f~cking sick?
did you really want to see this f~cking kid die?
well i guess the answer’s all a secret
and you’ll never find it out
i’m laid into the dirt
to hopefully be reincarnated
so beautifully
a plant that somehow
manages to end up stuck in nothing but a motherf~ckin’ drought
now my soul begins to leave my body
and on the way to h~ll
it’s finally en~route
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