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lirik lagu shereen ahmed - rather private thoughts

[the writer]
nothing i want?!
i wanted to go for the walk!
so—
why didn’t i go?
i do not reciprocate his feelings
and i’m meant to be “brisk”
for stephen’s sake
i promised father i’d try to be brisk
it’s hard to be brisk
and a walk in the larch wood
too great a risk

[the writer, spoken]
having always loathed girls in novels who are too, too innocent
i set it on record
if i did go—

[the writer]
i think he would kiss me
i think
i do not wish for him to kiss me—
i think
it’s very odd—
after all, he’s handsome
handsome like a god
and though i know i’m hardly one to swoon
i am not immune
i like the feeling
when he looks at me
something in his eyes—
i don’t know what it is
but i feel dizzy
with bliss
i think it’s pleasant, feeling dizzy
imagining a kiss
but it isn’t fair to him
and it isn’t right!
so i won’t imagine that
i won’t imaginе that
i won’t—

[the writer, spoken]
well, i might
oh, i can’t help myself
it’s somеthing to do with being alone in the house
it makes it easier to think private thoughts

[the writer]
i think we go along the lane
i think he pulls me along
i think his steps are firm
i think his hands are strong
there are no bluebells to be seen yet, but
i think i’ll put them in, anyway
we’re in the larch wood, now
now we’re in a rush
it’s getting darker
and there’s a hush
and a waking feeling
the wood is cool
dark and alive
he takes my hand
he strokes my hair
and something hovers in the air
unnamable and vast
and it’s breathing
and we’re breathing
and at last
he kisses me—
no!
i will not imagine that!
i won’t imagine that
i will not imagine that at all!

[the writer, spoken]
really
i’m shocked at myself

- lirik lagu shereen ahmed

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