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lirik lagu scnd (chl) - mental

[chorus]
i am sentimental, really need a mentor
doctor for my mental
fell out of my dreams
i’ll just be experimental

[verse 1]
this is me now, fell into the lies
they feed it, feed it, to me everyday
it’s just this tormented mind, ever since thirtheen
the virus hit us, thought it would protect me at first
spending everyday like a blast
since it was a habit, didn’t see it comin’
then, something changed, instead of feeling safe, i felt the fear chain me
the lightning struck, those nights
cry myself, in blue all i saw
messages reading “it’s true” and i remember
suicide thoughts and tears dropping every day, all in my mental
back then they were the only ones by me, so i couldn’t lose
i would just take the abuse and they’ll laugh it off
but they didn’t know half my pain
and i didn’t know true friends
a rain of madness on my mind, they ain’t know any sadness i had in me
they’ll just say it was all a joke, but it always stuck with me, d~mn
“i should be off the map” i said
kept that message close so i would feel the pain all again
it all comes back to me as i succumb to them
sick in the stomach and head
trying to find the cure, but, do i really want to relieve the numb?
[chorus]
i am sentimental, really need a mentor
doctor for my mental
fell out of my dreams
i’ll just be experimental
experimental, ex~experi~i~im~m~mental
i am sentimental, really need a mentor
doctor for my mental
fell out of my dreams
i’ll just be experimental

[verse 2]
now i can see it all
i feel everything around me
just a storm of feelings that never seem to cease
i know i can’t reach everybody
not many will really understand how i truly feel
i wonder how many times the same old song will repeat
father, forgive us, give them a sight of your light
no, i don’t want to hear no more fireworks
or shots and screams, cursing each other out in public
i am way too sensitive to live in this world
ever since day one, an outcast looking for shelter to outlast the weather
where will i finally end up?
now i can see and hear how my mind perished over time
no, i can’t calm myself down
all my thoughts escape whenever i’m alone or y’all are everywhere
and i just try to, speak my mind
into this tape, seek and find rhymes and my truth, who’ll i trust?
but, many times it just seems like my voice can’t be heard clearly
so i’ll just let instruments speak for me…
[break]
i might mess around, lose my mind
i might mess around, lose my mind
mess around lose my mind
lose my mind
god! yah!

[chorus]
i am too sentimental, really need a bullet
druggy for my mental
ruins proyected in all of my dreams
i’ll just fly away and float somewhere between
way too sentimental, needa hang my problems
‘scriptions for my mental
the world has fallen upside down
i, i see the light but am too much of a coward
keep myself asleep, too much weighing on my mental

[bridge]
out in the rain, i see the clouds (i’m far)
high in the room, i hear myself (far from home)
hanging on trees, stop hearing them (i, i’ve been)
i’ll just lose myself in the pitch darkness (so, so far)
my visions of nightmares that crawl alive (oh, home, i miss you)

[verse 3]
years after, it has been worse than ever
but at least now i realized everybody’s perspective
yeah i be the ghost of all this, they won’t miss me (no, oh)
like they never did, n0body saw all the signs
it has drained my soul away, left me as a husk today
too busy to help another one, i would but my mind doesn’t
annoy me with those sounds, headaches run my brain
i got the worst ideas on me, hoping to erase my memory from those
keeping it on the low is what i was born with
all pain, all tainted days, i always had it
intoxicated by society, the culture plagued by poison of the devil
they all are blinded by riches, something i ain’t have
i just need some air, drowning in thoughts
pardon me for venting, but i don’t see this anywhere else
not with raw emotion, the industry filled with robots
only god knows my exact thoughts, but i still try to communicate it
oh, with my heart broken, ain’t it funny?
won’t you see all you’ve done to me?
it has been accumilating over the time
oh, my! i think i’m a monster
i now am infuriated, my thoughts in the bas~m~nt
heartbroken, pieces by pieces gone
invade my mind and contaminate it
earth is no more earth, call it h~ll if you want
we are sinners, in need of redemption, that i recognize but
all week i’m weak, i can’t do anything
as the clock on the table stops
i can’t see outside the blinds
wasting my time, or maybe not
since i have something else on my mind
never on a blank thought
many times with a blank face, but i can never catch highs
am i being too pessimistic? or am i just seeing the truth
am i able to hold it all together? maybe not, but i like to believe i do
never was on the streets, always locked in the house
really though: sometimes i feel just like
i have everything in me, everything that blocks my path
hear me, hear ye, from my autism, the fear of the future, crowds, death, blood and pain
my brain splattered on the concrete, even though i did nothing
but, like everyone says, accidents happen
or, maybe for their own pleasure i die
back to it now, my ears percieve everything around me
i’m too tall for my own good, since i, can’t walk, straight with two feet
always fall, cry, get up as it all becomes a recent memory engraved on my brain
my depression, the one that controls me, i need angels
and my anxiety, all this and all paired with what i can’t recall makes me drown in sobs
could this be another case of a product of our enviroment? the lost souls that never saw light and always growed old
is there any beauty in this? i wonder
but, time’s running short for myself
too low, keep my soul
as i just fall to the ground and say
“good sleep” tonight

- lirik lagu scnd chl

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