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lirik lagu saydo - the romantic’s depression

[chorus]

i held you in high regards, a pedestal couldn’t yield you more fondness
and the sheer fact we were even in conjunction left me astonished
to ascertain that this sentiment was not commissioned in your end
heavied my conscience with a tauntin’ discontent
you seem to recollect the ways in which we bonded as undiluted nonsense
and me just as a common correspondence
although i was despondent
i had to be honest
and admit there were times where i didn’t even try to think of what she wanted
my thoughts held an infatuation
to the concept of love and, in turn, i burdened you with the responsibility of fulfillin’ all my wildest imaginations
in the grand scheme of things, our relations were of a brief duration
but what was forsaken in your departure was a lifetime’s worth of rearrangement

[verse]

i used to subscribe to the notion that winnin’ your affection would persist at the summit of the list of all my biggest achievements
‘cause my self~esteem was depleted
there were many a nights where i examined the abyss of my soul and located a brand new grievance
who i wanted to be and who i was were within a disagreement
with your presence, i was afforded the convenience
of neglectin’ concerns of my self~image and state of depression that left me at my weakest
but i couldn’t’ve been doing too bad since once upon a time, you said loved me and that wasn’t for no reason
i couldn’t love myself, so you doin’ it for me was everything i needed
and then you couldn’t do it no mo’
i couldn’t use you an excuse no mo’
the existential torture resumed, and i could not evade the music no mo’
i enjoy being a hopeless romantic and my childhood conveyed to me
that this frame of mind, i would prefer to not have it any other way for me
but appraisingly, i was not fond of all the other things it made me be
sensitivity was innate for me
and thinkin’ was my greatest feat
so when tragedy struck my real life, not even my own mind was a safe place for me
even the most mundane of affairs were particularly adept at phasin’ me
in addition, this inkling of isolation stayed with me, pervasively
it felt like i was travelin’ the pits of h~ll by myself the way there was no one around that could relate with me
a query that kept my state of peace at bay for weeks
was would i ever reach the light at the end of the tunnel or would the despair that’s always chasin’ me
someday have its way with me, fatally
for a long time, it appeared like that light was gettin’ further and further away from me
i put the less hope in hopeless romantic
because i thought there was no savin’ me
until one day, i realized the light in the distance that was getting’ away from me
was only my memories of you holding less sway to me
and to someone who’s been walkin’ blindly in the dark for so long, that was a grace to see
see, they say that absence makes the heart grow fonder
but time, time takes us further away from the places that harmed us
absence and time withers away the hold that old memories have upon us
until is it but a husk of its former glory that can lend its input no longer
all the li’l details started gettin’ hazy
you stopped crossin’ my thoughts on the daily
it was best thing in the world when my time with you was only somethin’ i could recall very vaguely
and with all that time i spent reflectin’ in solitude
i attained a new comprehension of my composition and put it in proper use
self~expression, i used my sorrow to
make art that were personal confessions and find acceptance with how i felt then because i’m not taboo
i fancied myself a hopeless romantic, because that’s what i thought was true
but i learned that you can’t truly love someone else
when you don’t love yourself
because they’ll always deserve more than what you can offer them when all of you is not even alot to you

- lirik lagu saydo

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