lirik lagu samuel quinyones - he should have known (commentary)
i wrote
wrote
wrote
i wrote
i wrote
f~ck!
ok
well this is going to be a lot harder for me than i expected
so enjoy
ty i need to be honest with you
(he should’ve known)
i didn’t really tell you the truth the other day
(he should’ve known)
i wrote ‘he should have known’ back in may 2022
right after my ex and i broke up
we went our separate ways
well he did
i stayed in the apartment we once shared
almost еmpty
just me and my feelings
some things had happenеd
and i remember thinking
i’m never going to get the apology i feel i deserve
so i wrote one myself
after several tries this song came out
“i keep them close by the drawer
just in case i need some for breakfast too
no i’m not in love or a liar
but i want some and giving out is what you do”
it was his apology to me or at least the one i thought i needed
“he should’ve known
that i was not even half the man i should’ve been”
so every time i felt like i needed it
i’d go back to it
i’d read it listen to it
sometimes i’d sing it out loud
but it didn’t always fill the void
“why aren’t i still satisfied?”
and i got caught in this feeling for so long believing i needed that apology to move on
“i’d pick a town break someone to be in the run again”
then this past month i found myself on the other side
i was the one who had done something wrong to someone else
he wasn’t aware at this point
but after two weeks of thinking
i decided to tell the truth and apologized
but it didn’t go how i thought it would
if anything
i think it made things worse
because he opened up about other things he did
and suddenly we were caught in this back~and~forth
“i might’ve have lost track of time
it’s been a year
i should’ve said he had to go
we won’t meet again”
now i’m not sure apologies make someone else’s pain go away
the pain stays and it invites other feelings in to party with it
and i still haven’t figured out what else besides apologizing
someone can offer to help the person they hurt
i think maybe apologizing helps the one who caused the pain more than the one who feels it
and just like apologizing is a gift the one who caused the pain gives themselves
i now believe forgiving is the gift we give ourselves as the ones who were hurt
“he said
let’s build a home
i’ll be the walls standing tall
boy, you’ll be the roof”
now this song has a second meaning
at one point i told him
i’ve been through this
i know that if you do this, it’ll go away
and he said
i appreciate it
but this is something i need to think about and figure out for myself
now i get to stand outside the pain i caused
staring at someone i still care about
who’s now sitting with the weight of emotions i provoked
i see him in this house with no walls
but a door locked from the inside
“he should’ve known
that i was not even half the man i should’ve been
and i know
i should’ve said
but i won’t bow to no man~made
why would i confess?”
(he should’ve known)
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