lirik lagu sam kinison - story of jim (bakker)
there’s one guy, there’s one guy who can suck d~ck, look god in the face and go, “what did you expect me to do?” or, “whup bib boo espep me boo boo?” there’s one man that can say that: reverend jim bakker! oh, yeah, reverend jim bakker. of course, we don’t have to call him reverend anymore, we just call him jim. [laughs]
did this guy deserve everything that happened or what? man, this d~ck. hypocritical, self~righteous b~st~rd! guy used be on the air, “i know god personally, no one will get in without my little seal on your forehead.”
jerk! ah, it’s great, too. god kicked his f~ckin’ ass, man. god’s tough. god~~first off all the guy’s humiliated now, all over the world. he was on in 170 f~ckin’ countries. real smart guy, huh? he didn’t even leave two out. you know, where he could, “maybe we’ll f~ck up some day and need a place to run to. no, let’s be on every country for the gospel of jesus christ…”
now, in every country, “[psuedo~foreign language] jim bakker, f~ck this [psuedo~foreign language]”. wherever he goes the rest of his life, people going, “i know who you are! ah, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha! honey, it’s him! it’s him! ha, ha, ha, ha! look at him! kids, get the camera! get the camera, look at him!”
“oh, god, did i f~ck up or what?”
judas is up in heaven going, “maybe i’ll get a f~ckin’ reprieve. i thought i f~cked up!”
oh. yeah, he lost everything, he’s humiliated, he’s shamed. he lost ptl club. jesus is still up over~~he’s up in heaven right now, he’s going through the bible, going, “where the f~ck did i say build a water slide? how did they get that out of this? i never said, ‘build and old folks home and use it as a tax write~off! oh, oh, oh, you d~cks, you f~ckin’ d~cks!”
oh, god did kick his ass, man. he lost everything. he’s ruined. [laughs] and the worst thing of all is he still has to wake up to her! ahh! [laughs]. i can’t~~i, i, i’m amazed he’s still alive, i really am. if i was him, i’d have enough pride to just go ahead and take my f~ckin’ life. if the guy was any kind of a man, he would. he’d go, “honey, i’m going to the restroom, i’ll be right back.” throw a strap over the shower curtain rod, jump off the stool, just [squeak, squeak, squeak]. [knock, knock, knock] “jim?” [knock, knock, knock] “jim, come back to the table, honey, the kids were only teasing you. jim?” [knock, knock, knock] “it was just a joke, honey. jim?” [squeak, squeak, squeak]. take your f~ckin’ life, bakker, you loser! he should, “oh, oh, oh [vocal gun sound], ohh.”
oh, jessica hahn, you know, if you’re going to lose a kingdom over some p~ssy, this is the girl, huh? can this guy pick ’em, he goes from tammy to f~ckin’ jessica hahn. the victim. “she was a victim! they took advantage of her. they brought her down here and they f~cked her, they came on her face and they took pictures of it and stuff.”
“and then i lost my faith, i can never believe in preachers again, i can never believe in god.”
and playboy comes along and goes, “listen, here’s a million dollars. can we take some pictures of your p~ssy?”
“oh, yeah, sure, here you go! don’t forget this.”
no, the guy should have to f~ckin’ be a night manager at f~ckin’ wendy’s or something for this, man. jim bakker, he should like run a bowling alley from like one ’til seven in the morning somewhere, you know?
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