
lirik lagu sam kinison - robo-pope
ah, i don’t know how we got stuck with all those wacko preachers, folks. we got like god’s special education team here in america. f~cking~~oral roberts, “i saw a 900 foot jesus in tulsa, oklahoma.”
yeah, great, oral, great. yeah, take your f~ckin’ medicine, will you? you’ll stop seeing these 900 foot f~ckin’ jesuses, yeah? “he won’t take the medicine, doctor. i keep tellin’ him.”
he~he~ho, what a d~ck, oh. you know, i’m not catholic, i’m not catholic, but i like when the pope~~i mean, if anybody can like have some f~ckin’ wild visions and get away with it, you know. you think the pope has that kind of credibility. but he’s cool, man. he came to america. he went on tour, he didn’t f~ck with anybody. just a nice guy. i’m surprised they got him on tour. last time he went outside, he was shot. pffew! “hey, hey, hey, hey! this wasn’t in the f~ckin’ deal! wait a second, hey! i thought this couldn’t happen to me!”
oh, yeah, he goes, “i’m going on tour, then you’re building me a f~ckin’ bulletproof caboose, you understand that? you want me to leave the vatican, then you get some bulletproof glass, you monkeys!”
ah, yeah, man. you see his little, little, uh, chariot thing they had he was encased in bulletproof glass? he looked like robo~pope. “you are in violation of john 3:16.” it’s robo~pope. he loves god and hates crime, he’s coming to your town
yeah, i thought the bulletproof glass was a real statement: “we know god protects the holy father, but just in case…”
he~he~he~ha. yeah, he was cool. god, he was tough on the gays. i mean, i’m tough on ’em, but i’m a f~ckin’ comedian. this is the pope, man, you know. he did. it was so funny. he went to san francisco, about a hundred gays came to the f~ckin’ church to meet him and they brought all these aids victims. they came up to him and they go, “can we be saved?”
and he goes, “no! next! anybody else? suck d~ck, lose the kingdom, romans 1, move on. thank you very much. next! come on, move on, you got d~ck on your breath. you’re smelling up the place. get the f~ck outta here. you suck the d~ck, you lose the kingdom, that’s how it goes. i don’t~~i didn’t write the book, i just enforce it. move on, let’s go.” oh, d~ck or the cross. you decide, gay. all right
oh, yeah, the pope. what a tough tour. yeah, he got to stay in the nicest hotels, though. they took care of him. he got to mess around with those little cable boxes, i’m sure. you know, they put those little cable boxes, movie boxes in your hotel room, now? so you can watch first~run movies in the privacy of your own room. and then about ten o’clock, they change their programming so you can see some real action. so you wonder, you wonder if the pope got bored, you know
“ah, thank you very much. thank you very much. good night. the pope’s tired. yeah, god bless you. no, god bless you. thank you very much. good night.”
“ok. ok. ok, it’s time to play. let’s see what we got here on channel two. i’m a nasty pope! i’m a nasty pope!”
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