lirik lagu sam kinison - parties with the dead
people in the back are going, “jesus, god, this is the sickest, most disgusting joke i’ve ever heard on stage!”
wrong! i can top it!
i can top it!
i can top it, because i feel sorry for lepers. i do, i feel sorry for lepers, because lepers never know when this is going to happen. [sound of a p~n~s falling off] “no! oh, god, no!”
they never know. lepers never know when that special moment’s gonna take place. that’s why you don’t seem then out dancing around and sh~t. they’re never in fights. they walk real carefully, you know? these guys don’t right the bus, they’re afraid to hit railroad tracks, you know, [boompf~boompf]. “oh, sh~t, oh, fu~~, oh. oh, god, where’d that d~ck go?”
they never make love. they don’t even joke about it. what do you do, be with a woman, be inside some woman they care about going, “uh~uh, uh, uh, uh.” [snap] “oh, sh~t! uh, excuse~~excuse me! excuse me, i uh, i should have told you i was a leper before we made love here, i uh, god, i’m embarrassed, i had no idea. that’s all right. i’ll get it, i’ll get it. yeah, it’s all right. it’s my fault, i’ll get it. ah, sh~t, oh, god d~mn it.”
“hey, wait a minute, this isn’t mine! leper wh0re! there’s got to be four or five leper d~cks in there! oh, ohhh!”
yeah, just when you think the joke can’t get any f~ckin’ worse. just when you’re thinking, “yeah, this has got to be it. he can’t get any more vulgar than this.”
“wait, we found another rock layer, let’s dig a little deeper.” yes, that’s what i do folks, it’s part of my job. this guy gave me a story out in los angeles. he goes, “sam, this is the sickest, darkest, most horrifying story i’ve ever read and it’s true. this is a story about h0m~s~xual necrophiliacs that were in the los angeles area.”
this is true, man, i couldn’t make this up, it’s too sick. heh~heh, i swear to god, you couldn’t, you wouldn’t think of this sh~t, somebody had to actually do it for it to f~ckin’ happen, you know. oh, man. these guys were going around to mortuaries and morgues, offering money to be able to come in, be left alone, undisturbed for a couple of hours with the freshest male corpse
oh, yeah, this guy told me this, he said, “sam this is a very sick story, and it’s uh, there’s, there’s no jokes in it, there’s no way to make it funny.”
i said, “give the story to me. give it here. give the story to me.” oh, yeah, i read it and i felt sorry for the corpses. i did, i felt sorry for these guys, because you know they lived their f~ckin’ life out, man, you know? they lived their whole life out, they went through their ups and downs, happiness, their disappointments. and then they faced death, which none of us know a f~ckin’ thing about, scares the sh~t out of everybody, n0body talks about it, you don’t joke about it, but you figure after you faced it, you know, after you actually faced death, you know, there’d be like a peace that would settle over. you go, “well, f~ck it, i faced death, it’s over now, i can just, you know, kick back and whatever happens, happens, you know?”
that’s why i felt sorry for these guys, because you know they were on slabs. they’re on slabs and uh, they’re laying there going, “well, well, life was tough. but at least i was able to live it out and i was able to face death and not be afraid and~~. well, now, i’m ready to go to heaven, be with jesus and~~hey? hey, what’s this? oh, god, it feels like a man’s d~ck in my ass! oh, god! a d~ck! oh, you mean life keeps on f~cking you even after you’re dead, it never ends! oh! ohh!”
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