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lirik lagu ryan scott oliver - ms. kelly's tapes

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[ms. kelly]
they laugh and shout
they kick their stones
their vicious murmur
crawls through my bones
and yet

i fix my smile, a warm expression
i dry my palm and clench my fist
walk through their woods, utmost discretion
i follow footpaths they’ll have missed
oh, i think i got away
this time
so today will be a good day
oh, my

i draw the blinds, lock double~bolted
make dinner, stomach sick and sore
i drink too much, so i’m not jolted
when all their stones start at my door
oh, i want to go away
tonight
fall asleep and pray i don’t
see the light

but i fight
i hear the whippoorwill sing its tune
i smell the night, so crisp and clean
i wrap myself in a cocoon
and think of all the happy days i’ve seen
of endless green
where hеaven’s mercy fills my breast
and my hеart may find its rest
when i awake, the tapes start playing
the loops my mind repeat on cue
and though i know it’s lies they’re saying
i tremble, for what if they’re true
god, please tell me something i can do!

i leave, and their attacks are brutal
i stay alone, and shake in fear
i numb it all, for hope is futile
i cry and no one dries a tear
year after year
this shame wrecks and rots my soul
when god’s made clear “their monster”
is to be my only role
may death come here
may the ocean swell and swallow me up whole!

and so, you ask me how i bear it?
truth is, dear, i don’t think i do
you suffer, too
that much, we share it
but there’s a greater plan for you
face them
make them see
find your hope
and you may find hope enough for me


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