lirik lagu riki lindhome - don't google mommy
hush, little baby, don’t say a word
mommy wants to give you some advice
like don’t run with scissors
or touch people’s eyeb~lls
and try to always be nice
and when you’re upset, take a breath
try to stay patient and calm
but the number one thing i ask of you
whatever you do
don’t google your mom
don’t google mommy
please say you won’t
you might think you want to
you don’t
the more you look, the worse it’ll be
so please, baby please
don’t google mommy
’cause mommy writes comedy songs
that are a teensy bit obscene
about handjobs and bl~wj~bs and f~cking a stranger
i guess every p~n~s i’ve ever seen
and sure, not all the things our parents do are gonna please us
but i’m the only one at mommy and me
who sang “f~ck me in the ass ’cause i love jesus”
you should watching the wheels
on the bus go round and round
you’re not ready yet to watch mommy criticize our biggest religion
while simulating ~n~l on the internet
i don’t regret one single bit
still don’t want you seeing it
i guess i’m just old~fashioned like that
i was living life having fun
not giving any thought to it
then all the sudden, you were there
and it was like “oh sh~t”
so don’t google mommy
please make that choice
i don’t want you listening to “slippery when moist”
the songs are true and all about me
so please, baby please, don’t google mommy
mommy’s an actress, and sometimes
she acts in scenes that are naughty
and now everyone at gymboree can see your mommy’s body
some people get naked for artistic reasons
to tell the story the best way they could
mommy did it because someone asked
and five seconds later, she said “sounds good”
sure, everyone’s got indiscretions online
like randoms exes or maybe a
drunk night or two, but it’s worse for you
when all of your friend’s parents can look at my l~b~~
don’t worry, i got scale plus 10
and honestly, i’d do it again
still, don’t watch things i’ve had a part in
wait until you’re in kindergarten
i’m just super modest like that
still, don’t google mommy
say that you’ll wait
there’s so many things that you’re gonna hate
and all of it’s out there for free
so please, baby please, don’t google mommy
and maybe you won’t love the things
that mommy did before you
but just because i’m disgusting
doesn’t mean i don’t adore you
and honestly, mommy’s a pioneer
mommy did that when sl~t shaming was cool
she started her youtube in 2007
and now you get to go to private school
and i promise to pay for your therapy
but please wait as long as you can
to google me
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