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lirik lagu red peters - you ain't getting shit for christmas

[verse 1]
you know, they say christmas is a time for givin’, ’cause that’s what the good book says. and in our house, my son and daughter and their families drive down from the big city for an old~fashioned family holiday
heck, ma dresses up the house like a christmas card. and here in the kitchen singin’ while she’s bakin’ cookies for the cookies. and she spends hours wrappin the presents she’d been buying since last august. she hangs all the stockings from the fireplace
in the morning of, i cut me down the prettiеst darn christmas tree ever saw in your life. this yеar, we really outdid yourself. you know, ma and i are really getting on in our years, so we decided to give the kids tax~free gifts of ten thousand dollars apiece. well i reckon it was about noon when i heard the dogs barking. come rags! come guzzler!
there was jim the mailman and his old santa cap coming up the walk, teasin’ the dogs as usual and holdin’ a package. he hands it over to me and says, “pappy! looks like you got an overnight package from your daughter. well, ma tore open and to our horrors we both unwrapped a fruitcake with a note that read
aloha mom and dad! at the last minute we got a cheap fare on the internet and went to hawaii! hold on to our gifts until the end of the year! love, princess

[pre~chorus]
well, ma’s heart was broken and i had a lump in my throat as i thought to myself

[chorus]
you ain’t getting sh~t for christmas (princess, you ain’t gettin’ sh~t for christmas)
you can shove that fruitcake up your ass (fact i can tell you, you can stick that fruitcake up your ass)
you ain’t getting sh~t (you ain’t getting sh~t) for christmas
you ain’t getting d~ck (you ain’t getting d~ck from me and ma! how you like that?)
you ain’t getting sh~t for christmas

[verse 2]
yeah, you know ma hasn’t had a drink in twenty years. i’ve been off the sauce for a while now and heck, if there was ever an excuse to start drinking again, who in tarnation could that be? junior and his family? he was some delivery fella, holding what looked like a fruitcake tin with a card attached
pa, the company’s condo’s free this week! you know how much pumpkin and i love hilton head! please forward our gifts to this address
hey ma, save some of this for me!

[pre~chorus]
well, ma took a conniption and things turned real ugly
she started breaking things, and hurled the turkey and the two fruitcakes right through the front window
and the whole time, she was yelling
[chorus]
you ain’t getting sh~t for christmas (ha, i tell you, you ain’t gettin’ sh~t for christmas)
you can shove that fruitcake up your ass (you can shove that fruitcake up your ass)
you ain’t getting sh~t (what?) for christmas (…spinning again in the bag)
you ain’t getting d~ck (you ain’t getting…)
you ain’t getting sh~t for christmas (…sh~t, d~ck!)

(nasty, nasty! hey ma, you cow!)

[chorus]
you ain’t getting sh~t for christmas (hey ma, knock it out!)
you can shove that fruitcake (that’s my jam, that’s my jam!) up your ass (watch it, god!)
you ain’t getting sh~t (ah no, ahh, no!) for christmas
you ain’t getting d~ck (ah, what the h~ll! where are you going!)
you ain’t getting sh~t for christmas!

- lirik lagu red peters

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