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lirik lagu payden mcknight - vanity

[part i]

[interlude: lil yamaka]
do not forget that god gave you music
with that, be thankful for your loving family
but always remember
that you don’t need validation from your family
to be you

[hook: payden mcknight]
y~yo
i just wanna be apart of the family
y’all showin me this love, relieving my vanity
there’s not many people who have invited me in
without knowing me, i guess i’m now apart of the family, yo

[verse 1]
i just wanna be apart of the fam
whenever you look at my eyes, you got me like, ah d~mn
you take to me to another planet in my head
you are living rent free, so i’ll turn you to a jam
because everytime you’re with me, i like everything i am
and i’m confident that being in your life is the plan
everything is perf, lets hope i’m not mislead
cause i think god put both of us here, so we can join each other’s hands
but if i’m wrong, i know d~mn well that you’ll find a man
cause i’m not even bout your features, personality stands
apart from every other person i could bring to my bed
i’m so thankful that your momma thinks that i’m handsome
cause like sam i am, you got the green flags on
all your brothers and sisters, they seem to always come strong
cause they be looking at me crazy when we hang all night long
i haven’t talked to your dad, but i’m sure that we would get along
i circle back to my own fam, i know they’d welcome you in
you and my sister are similar, y’all could friend till the end
my parents don’t know who you are, but when the time begins
i’ll show you everything that’s going on with the johnston’s
but then i go rapping right back to the booth
and i remember this is what i can’t do
there are too many reasons we wouldn’t work through
maybe i’m thinking too hard with my shoe
i’m sure that you’re shipping thoughts of me and you
but everyone sh~tting on me, cause of you
so i cannot tell anyone what we do
there’s too many pressures and feelings confused
i thank the lord that i’m leaving town
so you cannot be in my mind and around
i cannot be living my life in this sound
you mess with my morals i am breaking down
cause when we’re together everything is perfect
i feel so comfortable with my words and
maybe if we wait, it is worth it
but i keep circling back to the purpose
what is the difference between the years
of what if we wait and we drowned in our tears
together through fear, it’s getting unclear
if this possibility is near
if that idea is even safe
to be conceived under my name
i don’t care what people have to say
but i really care what they’ll think of you
i’m not victimizing, i’m just testifying
all my nights are getting horrifying
i can’t sleep unless i’m dreaming bout us flying
to another place where it’s you and i and
no one else but us and our kids
creating stories they could live with
but maybe i need to rethink this vision
so potential harm, i can prevent it
[hook: payden mcknight]
but i still wanna be apart of the family
y’all showin me this love, relieving my vanity
there’s not many people who have invited me in
without knowing me, i guess i’m now apart of the family, yo
i just wanna be apart of the family
y’all showin me this love, relieving my vanity
there’s not many people who have invited me in
without knowing me, i guess i’m now apart of the family, yo

[bridge: payden mcknight]
i just wanna fam like your’s
i just wanna fam, yeah, i just wanna fam
i just wanna fam like your’s
i just wanna fam, yeah, i just wanna fam
i just want a fam
like your’s
in my life

[part ii]

[chorus: payden mcknight]
i keep, i keep, i keep
i keep, i keep, i keep

[verse 2: payden mcknight]
i keep falling in sorrow
i keep falling in these dreams about us tomorrow
i keep tripping on these rocks scr~ping up my knee
i keep tripping on these thoughts creating history
i keep falling in a lake and i cannot swim
i keep falling in a hole that has no end
i keep erasing every memory we’ve made together
i keep erasing every person telling me to do better
i keep running in circles, just to relapse to your name
i keep attempting to get better, i might need rehab
i keep fumbling, my heart strings pull towards you
i keep tending to these wounds just to re~open the scabs
i keep praying that this sh~t finna stop
i keep praying that you’ll walk through my door and comfort me
i keep praying that you’ll leave and never text me again
i keep looking at these texts waiting for a reply
i keep
[chorus: payden mcknight]
i keep, i keep, i keep
i keep
i keep, i keep, i keep

[interlude: swsh]
though i’ll always pick up when you call
you only want me around just to break your fall, i’m leaving
i just really want your night and day
’cause you can’t even give me your 9:30

[part iii]

[verse 3: siahonx]
it’s hard to walk
it’s hard to watch
it’s hard to talk
i see, hm
but it’s walking the street of bronze
with a heart of gold
and i ain’t told
i did this sh~t all on my own
for the record
i ain’t sold my soul
you know what i’m on
so what you on
do you got it? do you really want it?
are you plottin? do you want this money?
now you’re dead screamin’ godd~mn
what should i do? i shoulda ran
like what the f~ck, d~mn
jumping up and down, but you ain’t playin’ double dutch
jumping up and down, just tryna get that clutch
and then you miss it, heh, such and such
i prayed for you, i love you, i care for you
but if i walk down this road with you
then i’m dead, it’s good (good)
you know that sh~t is real (real)
already seen my brothers out here poppin’ pills (d~mn)
it’s the same thing when they runnin n~ggas down, doin’ drills
f~ck you think i wanna do that sh~t for, i ain’t tryna k!ll
i ain’t tryna steal, i ain’t tryna spin
i’m just tryna win, and i count my sins
and i walk down past the h~ll
when i’m dead in this den
cross my “i”‘s and dot my “t”‘s, i’ll do it again (amen)
one~on~one, you know i’m the n~gga
you know i do it again
rockin’ timbalands, in the cold winter, you know it’s dead
movin’ round, showin out of town, with my smile
pray to god everyday, i don’t need no frown
i’m tryna leave this town, do what i gotta do, get my pape
i swear to god, if i stay here i might crash out

- lirik lagu payden mcknight

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