lirik lagu ヒグチアイ (ai higuchi) - わたしの代わり- instead of me
[ai higuchi「わたしの代わり~ instead of me」lyrics english]
[verse 1]
when someone says, “you’re fine just the way you are,”
i end up thinking, “no, i must be worthless.”
when someone says, “you should try doing it like this,”
i wonder, “what do they even understand?”
everything is true, and not everything is false
even today, i want to change
yet nothing changes at all
“lame, lame, lame… weak, weak, weak…
today was worthless, too,”
i mark an “x” on each day in the calendar
it’s painful, it’s painful, it’s painful
hurting, agonizing
but i won’t lose this
i’ll never be lost
i am me. i am me
i wish this motivation stayed tomorrow, too
i wake up only to see the world flipped upside down
yesterday i believed i could do it
collecting all the great words spoken by great people in the town
my bag strap snapped~
“i know already:
it’s not about whether you can or can’t
it’s about whether you do or don’t,”
i understand it with my head, at least
[chorus]
countless notebooks left unfinished
countless ill~strations never completed
countless books without endings
countless songs scattered and unformed
[verse 2]
unable to sleep, i take medicine
reality blurs, like wearing wrong prescription glasses
my freezer overflows
with worries, anxieties, and postponed future plans
“lame, lame, lame… weak, weak, weak…
today was worthless, too,”
i mark an “x” each calendar day
it’s painful, it’s painful, it’s painful
hurting, agonizing
[chorus]
each goal i set makes me feel stronger
but with each betrayal
i grow to hate myself even more
i don’t want to give up
i don’t want to stop
but i wonder: don’t people
don’t they think it doesn’t even matter what happens to me?
“lame, lame, lame… weak, weak, weak…
today was worthless, too,”
i mark an “x” again
it’s painful, it’s painful, it’s painful
hurting, agonizing
but i refuse to lose hope
i refuse to discard myself
my value as proof—even if it’s sad
i’m still alive
my value as testimony—even if it’s sad
i’m still living
[verse 3]
today, i take one step forward from yesterday
today, i hold my face a bit higher than before
today, my toes point forward into tomorrow
even if i’m the kind people abandon
i won’t abandon myself
i am me. i am me. i am me. i am me
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