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lirik lagu our fifty states project - hey bear

[verse 1]
aw hey everybody
what’s up, ranger rick here
look you’re going out into the wilderness
if you’re all alone you gotta know one thing
there’s a bunch of bears out there
and they’re usually pretty friendly
but just so you know they can rip your face right off
so if you do encounter a bear
you’re gonna wanna stand up tall
and make yourself big and wave your arms around
but most importantly, you’re gonna wanna yell loud and clear

[chorus]
hey bear, hey bear
please don’t eat me
hey bear, hey bear
i hope you’re not hungry
hey bear, hey bear
i haven’t showered in ten days
so i won’t taste very good
because i’m stinky

[verse 2]
aw yeah
so basically you wanna tell the bear that you don’t smell good
cause you’ve been hiking for a long time
and that usually will scare them off
but sometimes it won’t and they decide to stick around
and you know maybe they’re gonna check you out
but this is normal ok, don’t panic
just pull out your bear spray ok
it shoots up to ten feet
but you’re gonna make sure you wanna face it at the bear and not yourself
ha ha ’cause that’s happened before
but the most important thing is to say
[chorus]
hey bear, hey bear
please don’t eat me
hey bear, hey bear
look over there, some honey
hey bear, hey bear
you don’t wanna eat me
i just got back from the doctor’s office
and was diagnosed with leprosy
aw yeah
and that’s not safe to eat

[verse 3]
anyway so if the bear spray doesn’t work
and lying to the bear about having leprosy doesn’t work
the bear may start charging you
ok don’t freak out alright
this is probably a bluff charge alright
it’s very common
so stand your ground it’s just testing you
but bears can weigh up to 1200 pounds or more
and can run 35 miles an hour
so just let that settle in
but whatever you do, don’t run
just say
[chorus]
hey bear, hey bear
please don’t eat me
hey bear, hey bear
i hope you’re not hungry
hey bear, hey bear
i don’t work out a lot and i always skip leg day
so pretty much there’s not a lot of meat on me
i’m just skin and bones

[verse 4]
yeah tell him how skinny and out of shape you are
alright now hopefully this convinces the bear to stop and turn away
but sometimes it won’t alright
if contact is imminent and the bear is going to come at you
here’s what you wanna do
get down on the ground and protect your vitals
alright get in the fetal position alright
your back, your neck, your throat and your stomach
all the super vulnerable places
but the most important thing you wanna do is keep singing

[chorus]
hey bear, hey bear
please don’t eat me
hey bear, hey bear
i hope you’re not hungry
hey bear, hey bear
i got a wife and kids back home
and a dog named chester and a cat named b00bitty boo
so please don’t eat me
yeah
[outro]
so there you go everyone
you should be pretty good
just sing any one of those songs
and um bears should leave you alone
but uh stay safe out there
ok
alright

- lirik lagu our fifty states project

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