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lirik lagu original cast of why am i so single - no question

[oliver]
you’ve been wondering what’s wrong with you and hey guess what?
i’m sure you know by now the answer is a lot
you overthink
you overdrink
you panic every time you might have found a future husband for yourself
and even though all of the aforementioned things are true
and even though you are a git and yeah, you know it too
i don’t think that these are fundamental reasons as to why right now you find yourself upon the shelf

and so i start to roll my eyes
when you demand we ~n~lyse
what’s to blame
as if it’s not a game
as if we’re both the same
when you and i both know

there’s no question that you’re gonna find someone to love
that you’re gonna get the sunset you dreamed of
there’s no question that you’re gonna find someone to hold
you’re gonna move to the cotswolds and grow old
and you’ll laugh at your old jingle
of “why am i so single?”
but there’ll be no question left for you to answer
there’s no question
[nancy, spoken]
thank you
where’s the cotswolds?
[oliver, spoken]
n0body knows
[nancy, spoken]
but i genuinely don’t see this as some big difference between us
like i can see all of this happening for you
it’s gonna happen sometime
[oliver, spoken]
sally i think you’re needed back at the kit kat club

[nancy]
look i’ll admit that recently it’s been a rough old patch
you’ve been burned a bit and now you’re scared to find a match
but your perfect man is out there waiting

[oliver]
waiting for the moment he can organise and cancel our first date

[nancy]
you know you make these little jokes!
(moi?)
exhibit a?
i actually think it’s what is standing in your way
i know all this deflection is so you don’t risk rejection
[oliver]
sorry, doc remind me of your hourly rate

[nancy]
but when you get over this fear
all this avoiding then it’s clear you will see
that your future will be like what you see for me

[oliver]
nancy, look, there’s a bee!
there’s no bee

[nancy]
and there’s no question
you’re gonna find the love of your life

[oliver]
i can’t wait to meet him and his wife

[nancy]
no, there’s no question
you’re gonna find someone who’s all yours

[oliver]
yes, someone who has whiskers and paws
and i’ll teach my cat a jingle
he might sing ‘miaow, miaow, miaow, so in~le’
until the day he eats my rotting carcass
and dies from indigestion
[nancy, spoken]
ok, oliver, but this is actually what i’m saying
this is why you’re single
because you turn everything into a joke as a way to keep people at arm’s length

[oliver, spoken]
oh so it’s just my terrible personality!
phew, i was worried it was something i couldn’t change!

[nancy, spoken]
no, but, well yeah actually you’re annoying as f~ck
but i’m sorry you’re also like the most multi~faceted, dazzling, like spirit~lifting person i know
you’re like a human f~cking disco ball for god’s sake

[oliver, spoken]
oh, well that’s good because i do often see ‘novelty 70’s decoration’ as a listed kink on grindr

[nancy, spoken]
no, look listen, listen
the point is, you actually could find someone easily
but not if you keep pushing everyone who tries to get close to you away with this f~cking performance

[oliver, spoken]
oh yeah, i’m pushing away the h~~rds of guys who are queuing up to get close to me
oh wait, they’re not here
they had to go and see their girlfriends

[nancy, spoken]
ok fine
look, forget about them
what about me?

[oliver, spoken]
nancy, i’ve told you i do not see you in that way

[nancy, spoken]
oh ha ha ha, was that another little joke, oliver?

[oliver, spoken]
well i’m sorry i’m so hilarious and fun

[nancy, spoken]
but do you know what?
you actually are!
and i’m happy to joke about the men who have been sh~t to you
and the f~cked~up things people say on the apps
and how you’re finding stuff around gender stressful
and the million other things it’s easier to avoid than it is to actually look at
but at some point we could talk about it
i don’t know, maybe that would even help

[oliver, spoken]
i always forget you’re a professional life coach
how do you find the time?

[nancy, spoken]
or you could do that like you do to everyone who tries to see inside
why are you so f~cking scared to show me, to show anyone, who you are when you’re not putting on a f~cking show?

- lirik lagu original cast of why am i so single

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