lirik lagu one big f*cking nothing - doug rockwell
parent 1: 999!
parent 2: 999!
parent 3: 999!
police: what’s your emergency?
parent: something truly terrible!
parent 4: 999!
parent 5: 999!
parent 6: 999!
police: what is the urgency?
parents: conditions are unbearable!
parent 1:
immersive chocolate wonderlands
were promised for today
parent 4:
drove 800 kilometers
for dogsh~t on display
parent 2:
the art was not consistent
parent 5:
and the candy~nonexistent
parents 2 ~ 5:
our toddler ran away!
policeman 1:
so, you’re reporting a lost child?
parent 5:
no, he’s fine, he’s by the rainbows
policeman 1:
he’s by the what?
parent 2:
just when we thought the worst had come
they unleashed the unknown
policeman 1: who?
parent 3:
my two large uncles fainted
i was left there on my own
parent 6:
the meth lab started smoking
parent 3:
all the children started choking
parents 3 ~ 6:
i’m pretty sure they’re stoned!
police:
we see why you phoned!
parents:
there’s nothing
there’s absolutely nothing
there’s nothing we can say
that would convey the horrors that we’ve seen today
it all keeps adding up to nothing
bring pearls ‘cos they’ll be clutching
it is something that my soul can’t wash away
policeman 1:
stay put, we’re on the way
captain, we’ve got a code 1 over here
police captain:
ah yes, an over dramatic mob
give me the details
policeman 1:
well n0body’s been murdered
no one’s injured, no one’s dead
policeman 2 ~ police woman 1:
aww!
policeman 1:
no gangs, no guns, no streaking nuns!
no junkie off his head
policeman 2:
there’s been no robbery
no cat stuck up a tree
police:
no sacrificial ceremony
police woman 1:
they’re pouting ‘cos a warehouse
was too big for all its props
they wanted one more lollipop
police captain:
that’s why they called the cops?
policeman 2 ~ police woman 2:
then it all escalated
when the bouncy house deflated
and now the tears won’t stop
police:
there’s nothing
there’s absolutely nothing
there’s nothing more appaling
than their calling when there’s nothing here at all
police:
it’s one big steaming pile of nothing
not even worth discussing
all their fussing, can’t believe they had the gall!
parent 3:
all talk, but no talk of action:
so typical of the law
parent 4:
we hand you a crime, the crook’s grand design
and instead you mock what we saw
policeman 1:
a disappointing transaction
was something we call benign
and the only crime i’m inclined to fee
is this royal waste of my time
parents:
this is bu~bu~bu~bu~bu~bullsh~t
police:
this is bu~bu~bu~bu~bu~bullsh~t
parents:
this is bu~bu~bu~bu~bu~bullsh~t
all:
bu~bu~bu~bu~bu~bullsh~t
all:
there’s nothing
we all came here for nothing
there’s nothing more ferociously atrocious
than this bogus, stupid day
my god
look how we all came rushing
to this loo in need of flushing
it’s the one thing i wish i could wipe away
parents:
this was absolutely
police:
positively
all:
one big f~cking nothing!
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