lirik lagu officialdjaaron - losing myself
[intro]
damage from things that i’ve seen, trauma’s the reason i’m selfless
i remember a man always beatin’ on my mama, i remember how i seen it, helpless
me and my sister trapped in a room, and n0body there tryna help us
if i see that man, ’til this day, he better pray to god he’ll help him
[verse]
i got so much on my mind, but talkin’ ain’t fixin’ the hurt that i’m feelin’
abandonment issues, chase if you leave, but that’s just a verse of my healin’
i don’t see a point in me talkin’, my thoughts, they smile, i can see ’em
i vent to the mic’, all my demons will k!ll me if i don’t reveal ’em, i gotta reveal ’em
people talk, but they don’t think about how i been doin’
they see when i push them away, they don’t think about reasons i do it
they judge me at times that i lose it, say that they love me, it’s confusing
people leave, and n0body stays, but by now, i should be used to it, but
i live for peace in my life, but my past is a path of destruction
set up to fail as a child, born in a family of addicts and druggies
addiction so deep in my genes, i run you away if you love me
’cause i gave my love to a person, and i thought they was the death of me, d~mn
i carry burdens that keep me from movin’ on in this life
i walk a lonely road, no directions, i’m just hopin’ it’s right
they shake my hand when they smile, in the same hand is a knife
i never trust people at all anymore, do you know what it’s like?
not having christmas, you with your sister, y’all spendin’ birthdays alone
i spent my time with my sister in foster, that never felt like a home
y’all in a house full of strangers, y’all got each other to hold
but you’re only there for a check, every night, i was cryin’ to go home, i was tryna go home
’cause i need my mother and father
all of my life, i just wander, did you think of your son or your daughter?
’cause the older i get, i just ponder, why didn’t anyone want me?
the closer i get to finding the answers, i feel my heart growing darker
i wish i could fix all my feelings, i wish i could quiet the voices
i wish i could wake up and want to live life, not everyday feeling pointless
i wish i was happy for once, and not overthink all my choices
maybe one day i could face all my problems, but for now, i avoid it, f~ck
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