lirik lagu no coast rap battles - xqz vs. speedy calhoun (title match)
[round 1: speedy calhoun]
we ready?
so y’all sayin’ i gotta battle x to show y’all i’m the star for ya…
pass me the rock or pass me the rock: lamar odom
ain’t no next, brock lesnar with broad shoulders
a top soldier
after this, he’ll feel like john cena, the mop floored ya
blegh!
see, this fight ain’t right for some like i can’t write with son
but as a rapper, personality is a factor
you should try you some
that’s why i don’t sit around and b~tch about how i am not the one
let’s talk speed’ limits, ‘cause i’m defyin’ them like i am ryan dunn
so when i hear the boy x wanna fight wit’ him
well, i snicker
like, “first, write writtens where multis don’t override lyrics”
peep, you wiggers try spittin’ for five minutes like “i’m gifted”
whole time slippin’
you not sick wit’ them light symptoms!
by the time our time finish, your eye twitchin’
i might hit him, with five fingers to the face gon’ vibe wit’ him
your eyes different
these divine scriptures divides spitters who pride trippin’
you been rappin’ for nine years
i been rappin’ since 9 wit’ it
for me, i send to talib, but ain’t it a slight difference
if i’m the black star runnin’ straight into white privilege!
that’s why i’m at his side trippin’ like batman, when you rhyme wit’ him
nah, i’m at his side kickin’ on a dark (k)night ‘cause i’m robbin’ him
make him say a prayer, that’s you and your god business
gun go…
he d~mn near forgot i was outside wit’ him!
see, you the great white hope, but when i say i’m dope
that mean, i got that it factor when i make y’all float
i could wake up the dead with the bar, that’s a séance quote
i’m just trying to augment my reality
f~ck you think i brought this ar fo’?
and i keep having to do it, so this is like ar 4
‘cause most of you n~ggas in no coast suck as rappers…but got great bars, though!
and he’s the main example!
it’s the same reason i hate y’all folks
so what he got drive?
now he crawlin’ out the window like race car doors!
man, i’m sparrin’ wit’ you, barrin’ wit’ you, that nose and how it’s awkward for you
that’s three rounds you won’t hear ‘cause your nose f~ckin’ talkin’ to you
n~gga, that thing is the reason why swimming lessons at the park are too alarming for you
‘cause every time you backstroke, people dart ‘cause there’s a shark in the pool
(~laughs~)
different! it was different!
rest in peace, x!
who said i couldn’t beat x?
all i need is one check and son set (sunset) like when the sun meets west
top 5 at no coast, but ain’t get a load of me yet
your thought speed was my speed, then we see how speed ex
[round 1: xqz]
3~d…3~d…
3~d consists of me…and a bunch of rappers i found under my shoe
long story short, we were all wasted at invasion, and wound up as a crew
and found out speedy was in it the next morning like, “well, now what do we do?”
said, we got ruin your day in this b~tch!
and all the channel’s biggest stars
avocado, reverse, pigsty, and sh~t, we even got a random on the card
so, first off, i better not see any hoppin’ around, talkin’ through rounds, gettin’ overexcited
‘cause you know, for me, preppin’ for you felt like a homework assignment
for this event, i wanted that…
that sleeper classic that gets the culture divided
an opponent i’ve always despised
or something that puts that pressure on that turns coal into diamonds
then i get you
this sh~t feels more like that snapchat update that we’re forced to comply with
‘cause i gotta keep checking these names, but there’s not even a story behind it!
let’s talk!
i said, let’s talk no coast history like kelly hosting the livestream
(even though there’s not one)
the goat of my league
no coast dynasty, bulls in the ‘90s
here tonight to go for the five~peat
jordan with toni beside me
like, “just be patient, lil’ homie. you’ll get your moment once i leave.”
but i can’t even worry about this
‘cause lately i’ve been dealin’ with more pressing matters
this anxiety and depression scattered in this horrible, endless pattern
‘cause i found out…speedy thinks i robbed lu in the title match
and it just k!lls me ‘cause he’s such a better rapper
actually, i been stealin’ from rappers my whole life
i mean, y’all remember napster?
and while we’re confessing sh~t
it’s been, like, a decade, and i’m still usin’ my ex’s netflix password
it’s almost like stealing titles is one of the first things i ever mastered!
just a battle fan in ‘09, came to no coast, and set the standard
i live this sh~t a lot for someone who don’t really do it
i’m a method actor
but he’s been trash for eight years
how is he the number one contender after?
anyone?
maybe siri knows, lemme ask her
that means i’mma keep holdin’ it down and talking to this b~tch until i get my questions answered!
i’m not havin’ that!
title matches with pompey, isaac knox, and then lu
there was constant improvement
and then they announced it was you, and that’s what’s caused some confusion
i take some time off, come back, they act like i’d get bodied by human
i been sick of this from the jump, it’s…d~mn near vomit~inducin’
i mean, bro…
human, you really puked in your kotd debut?
man, that’s f~cked up
i mean, your real name’s charles, right?
i bet they greet you now like, “what up, chuck?”
remember, though!
human used to check himself like…“phone, wallets, keys, pistol!”
now he checks himself like…”choke, vomit, green spittle!”
wet up the whole audience!
lookin’ like a hose nozzle bein’ jiggled
he let a blunt and a couple cups of cold water 3~zip you
but i can’t get a gz? that’s when the fuse got lit
now that white boy rappin’ like the caption on a qpac’ clip
so once i k!lled human, our twin cities head can get his rooftop split
and that’s three bodies lined up for my own team like a foosball kick!
i’m on this
3~d shooter since nintendo 64
and they think i’m goin’ light on speedy ‘cause i was friends wit’ him before
but i’ve been training for this
this got me lookin’ like chris hemsworth did in thor
just to k!ll my own boys in 3~d: this avengers: civil war
the best at this
special effects magic, blue and red glasses
ness, hindu, wizeguy ~ only vdm classics
my run’s been longer than a ness status
i learned to get better with less practice
speed writin’ like test packets in sat prep classes
‘bout to drop 30, extra focused on speed like a meth addict
now that big hook throwin’ off speed: greg maddux!
you dead!
speed headed to a wake like he jet~skiin’
.deadbeat head in a bag: he stress~eatin’
and this evenin’, feelin’ like trump at a press briefing
thinkin’ anyone that questions me gotta be left leanin’!
i’m not jokin’!
baldheads light up the ring like irate when he dart~throwin’
i ain’t in this bar to play games, just card~pullin’
get the spark goin’
part holmes, part hogan, get your arms broken
mug drippin’ on the mat, face~down like the bar closin’
you gettin’ washed!
and that’s why when i feel like it’s time to call quits
i’ll use bums like this as a punching bag to fight it off with
[round 2: speedy calhoun]
like, thor wasn’t even in civil war. that sh~t is bogus.
[xqz]
my bad. i take that line back.
[speedy calhoun]
(~chuckles~) reb~ttals
yo…
like, you want me to bar~
like, i gotta bar wit’ you now, i guess
like, but, uh…i wish this sh~t was as simple as, like, on some white~on~black sh~t…
on some “whites own black sh~t”
but that’s so average
rival slavery, the holocaust
you know, sh~t you and i know tragic
when overall, we turned it around on some ‘9~0 fashion
i wish we’d criss~cross
i would love to be with my wife, watchin’ hawaii five~0, laughin’
you could burn on with human on my block, then you see 5~0 dashin’
now y’all runnin’ across lawns, they hoppin’ outta fords with arms drawn
requestin’ 30 more squad cars for two of y’all, and y’all calm
shakin’ from the wrists like pom~poms
see, you can fight the system, but you can’t fight a hollow
n~ggas ain’t john john
but~but~but~ hold on, hold on!
f~ck the race sh~t! this ain’t even that
it’s a cop~out not to keep it rap
but if y’all hear him singin’ when he see the strap
it’s cool ‘cause the nina black
i said, “i’ll wake up the dead with a bar”, but the part y’all didn’t peep is that
it’s bad news for grandpa ~ i’m bringin’ stinkmeaner back
so you can appropriate, partic~p~te, but a great big piece of rap
is “real n~gga sh~t”!
last i checked, they don’t teach you that
i should scissor~kick this ho out his jeans
don’t move, avo’, then you pr~nto to get a toe to the screen
the cool follow, blue bottles for a few models
hit him wit’ that “oochie wally”
who his papi?
beast in this game so long that i could sue jumanji
but since i don’t got as many views, he c~cky
who are you to stop me?
havin’ little views is sloppy, but what are views that didn’t view a body?
you the k!ller that don’t really k!ll sh~t
that would mean that you a oxy~moron
pop this moron ‘til he pukes his oxy’!
that sh~t was sick already
and i didn’t mention illuminati, new bugatti, crews or posses
even stayed away from jews and n~z~s!
(~the crowd loves that fast~paced wordplay, so speedy runs it back~)
hold on! hold on! that sh~t was sick!
and i didn’t mention illuminati, new bugatti, crews or posses
even stayed away from jews and n~z~s!
now you would probably use some nerd speech: dr. koothrappali
but i got a big bang! i promise dr. sheldon cooper problems!
the way you rapped about beating me up, though, it’s like, “n~gga, you from harlem?”
if you try to pull it on him, know i’m goin’ brooklyn on him
i should slap you!
nah, that’s a major problem at best
yeah, i should math you
yeah, that’s the best way to solve for x
he like, “finally…the cool black guy is spending time with me!”
but had x questioning his sleep like, “oh, no, the irony.”
oh, y’all didn’t peep that
if x questioning his sleep, that mean “x q’d his z’s”
but y’all know that was light to me!
bruh, this why i hate you with them tough lines
here’s a couple reasons that i don’t mess with you
you are built like a tween
all them sports bars were not meant for you
you stay swervin’ through lanes, then your rhymes do 10 and 2
i bet even carter deems you “a rhyme~good clever dude”
time, man!
[round 2: xqz]
aw, man…
we’ll start it off like this, uh…
mr. biscuit don’t gotta cuss in his raps to win battles…
chicago to the death of you, right?
hey, this the city you rep with pride
and he’s gonna talk about how i’m not from here ‘cause i grew up in the suburbs and i can’t let it ride
‘cause every time we’re on the same card, i can’t tell apart your friends from mine
i think you’re a little more lincolnwood than inglewood, homie
i think you went from g’s to gentrified
and i wonder why…
i wonder~ ay, where’s your girl at?
can i talk to maggie for a bit?
yeah, it’s about to get a little problematic in this sh~t
y’all know that one dude that every time he goes to the club with his friends, he starts rappin’?
‘cause they all gas him
and you’re like, “b~but you’re so great, honey. just do that thing. you know, throw some bars at him!”
i mean, i ain’t knocking y’all
i know y’all are awesome together
it’s just gotta be kinda awkward when you gesture for “wakanda forever”
and she just asks if you’re practicing to be a bobsledder
i mean, she be like~
[crowd member]
talk that racism sh~t!
[xqz]
it’s not racist~
aight, she be like~
maybe, i don’t know
all right, my bad
she be like, “oh, look, justin! there’s a chicago hip~hop~themed brunch in logan square. that seems neat.
they got bagels & matlox, kanye western omelettes~ ooh, chief quiche!”
i mean, that sh~t’s funny, but it’s not even the worst part
‘cause you been wit’ her so long, you now accustomed to how comfortable the ‘burbs are
i mean, where you from, you see a flash, and then somebody’s yellin’ “worldstar!”
now you see a flash, and two days later, there’s a red light ticket on your girl’s car
didn’t you used to be, like, friends with chance the rapper?
weren’t you friends with chance the rapper?
that’s really cool…
so he’s your dude?
so hypothetically, you could get him on the phone if you needed to
and he wouldn’t be like, “what’s goin’ on, big fella? uh, speedy who?”
“oh, good old chance, pretending he doesn’t know who i am again. it’s kinda this thing we do.”
i mean, the dude had his dream come true
came up in the same scene as you
but it’s not hard to figure out why he wouldn’t wanna be seen with you
‘cause while he was celebrating grammys
you were celebrating almost beating lu
while he had dreadheads in the lobby
you were getting kicked out a hotel lobby for being rude
so now he’s in naperville with his chick in a chance the rapper “3” hat
a flannel jacket sleeve tat’, and a frappuccino decaf
but still broke
bank account still empty, and that’s pre~tax
he hasn’t even played the new 2k ~ he’s waiting ‘til it comes out on dreamcast
struggle rap starter kit
biggest talent is how late in the day he can sleep past
but claims he can never get a break, even though his phone’s always got its screen cracked
so talk about my domesticated~ass life, but you might wanna rethink that
‘cause your life came to a stop in the ‘burbs before hittin’ 25
that’s what i call a speed trap
“broke rapper who acts c~cky, but hates himself”
that’s a bad marketing pitch
i mean, i’ve been given some shots i don’t deserve, and man, karma’s a b~tch
‘cause there’s so many better opponents i could’ve gotten that rap harder than this
oxford comma: we don’t need you here ~ you were just the last mark on the list
that’s 2
[round 3: speedy calhoun]
i knew this mu’f~cka was gonna stand here and say somethin’ related to how my b~tches is white
but yo’ b~tch is so white…
if i paid her a visit tonight, and beat her within an inch of her life
stood two feet away and taunted her like, “so you gon’ sit there and die?”
this b~tch will pull out two cc’s of cinnamon spice
plug ‘em in, and next all week, the b~tch is alright
(i didn’t write that sh~t! f~ck y’all)
but yo~ (~chuckles~)
speaking of white b~tches…uh, how you feel about that last round?
was that race sh~t, like, kinda awkward to go through?
i mean, trust me, i would never blame my brother
but trust, brother, i know it true
so when them black guys vote me, and them white guys vote you, i might go lu
maybe i’m bein’ blunt, but that guy smoked you
how~ you an iphone, x…you movin’ like a iphone 2
you don’t do sh~t for the culture
your opponents who supply yo’ views
real and ness, i’d deal for press
but you can’t tell x he not yo’ dude
but you went overseas, got 0 and 3’d
‘cause every verse was like a iou
so, is x best? yes, ‘cept not on my best day
i saw right through this bullsh~t soon as you offered me x, ray
but let’s keep it a buck: we both don’t even want this f~ckin’ title
i just wanna be the best chi’ rapper hands~down when i’m on the flyer
now for such rapping:
i could probably punch dragons, the way i hold the fire
no macgyver, all the situations i done strolled up outta
all this barkin’ sh~t ain’t no party trick!
f~ck you know about it!?
i know you can open a beer wit’ your nose
well, i don’t know, but i know he tried it!
that’s that sh~t you can’t do
this is…chris rock hip~hop wit’ a poet’s timing
started valley lows and climbin’
moonwalkin’ over zion, euggh!
what can i say? you mistake what my limit is
while i’m thinkin’ ‘bout the options about how we gon’ finish this
‘cause if i blew his f~ckin’ face off, you would still be kinda known
‘cause your face will have a giant hole, big enough to sneak people inside a show
i bet that thing whistle when the wind kinda blows inside your nose
cover one side, imitate a fisher~price’s xylophone
but f~ck that! that sh~t was light, just like a common cold
not for you…you sneeze a lot and snap a collarbone
out the blue? i mean, i know that thing is conscious, so
if ever you choose to confront your nose, just know my money’s on your nose!
now y’all know my slogan:
“rest in peace
‘cause while this n~gga was dead asleep
i was puttin’ in the work that was determinin’ the legacy
i never stopped cookin’ him ~ y’all know my recipe
four~star rounds, chicago to the death of me”
but yo…ness~ ness ain’t even here
[xqz]
he’s right there (~points behind speedy, just offstage~)
[speedy calhoun]
my n~gga! ay, ness!
now you said i had a cool performance when i was stylin’ in front of you and saurus
screamin’, losin’ voices
all in pajama pants ‘cause i was truly snoring
and you battled him the next day
i wouldn’t know ‘cause you are boring
but let’s talk about titles you was owing
for the record, i’m not a f~ckin’ lu supporter!
but it’s incredible!
i literally saw that n~gga beheading you!
and you ain’t even have the common courtesy to even play dead for lu
so i switched up the last phrase, which is something that i never do
but know today we can say chicago was the death of you!
now k!ll me now ~ do you
[round 3: xqz]
let’s see if i can remember this sh~t
at home, speedy’s got a trophy case full of open sp~ce
i mean, a title shot in the whitest league in battle rap is your biggest accomplishment?
oh, wait…
i forgot ~ you told future “you’re the best schemer in the world”
that’s an exact quote
is that so?
i mean, did you mean like rhyme schemes? wordplay?
either way…that’s dope
the best schemer in the world, guys: speedy calhoun!
that’s facts though!
i just~ i wasn’t aware this was declared
did the fans vote?
i mean, you know we got chilla and lu cipher
ay, congrats, bro
he’s the type to say sh~t like:
“any legends wanna battle in chicago gotta see me.”
word? you’re the final boss here?
you’re speedy calhoun, bro…
like…yeah, alright
i normally hate doing sh~t like this
your biggest wins are v~money, jay at a house party, human when he was a tenth grader
your last five battles, one clear win, 500 view average
y’all can check later
don’t deny it ~ we got the versetracker dude here
i can get data
i mean, maybe acting like you above this when you ain’t done sh~t
is why cats think you’re a spectator
i’m pretty sure your highest viewed battle the last five years was this event trailer
ay, at least you haven’t done any dumb sh~t like drive seven hours to battle lunee ben
no, you didn’t
you made irate drive you seven hours to battle lunee ben
classic sh~t though!
we had the future face of no coast on our hands
we all knew it then
it’s just the staff was a little divided on whether it was you or him
but the best scammer in the world?
i hope you see how dumb that statement looks
you thought this was your major look
they made you look
this is the biggest setup raymond‘s booked
different type of trap when i loop snares and lay the hook
you getting chopped, junior
for three rounds, the kid came to cook
the clock’s ticking
this the wrong plate
i skipped an entree or this
gettin’ lit off that bombay, flambé the dish
stay lit, las vegas strip
craig sh~t, i’m even fire on my off day and sh~t
chain since 2010
this is the top rank, it’s not changed a bit
jane lynch: he’s mainly fit to be the tall, lanky b~tch
i’m callin’ out cal’ like when conway was on sway as spit
and just steppin’ on his heart & soul like tom hanks in big!
stop playin’, kid, or get sent for adoption
in case i don’t k!ll him and get my money, i got an extra precaution
to make sure i got bills locked like beverly johnson
long nose shootin’ in the stream like echo the dolphin
pretend we at smack
look at everyone watchin’ like, “let’s get it poppin’!”
even avocado toast: hashtag “millennial problems”
there’s a difference
i started prepping longer in advance
now he’s a student that got caught cheating all of his exams
cause now we all know the kid’s got a problem on his hands
see, in the past~
delivery is something that would haunt me in the past
and being loud and obnoxious is all he really has
so we’re opposites
but after seeing these options, i ain’t mad
cause i’d rather be awkward when i spaz
than overconfident and trash!
that’s why when he’s on the road, he barely makes the audience react
cause he don’t bring that same energy without chicago people‘s gas!
speedy! speedy…
you don’t say sh~t, speedy!
you got just flow and cadence that makes it seem colder
but i also wrote my sh~t to a beat…
you getting beat by g~souldier
you’re just a loud goofy weirdo
my sh~t’s a lot smoother
when i smoke blunts and bump future
you smoke dust and bump odd future
i mean, maggie is in love with a sucker like the cartoon
i ain’t trying to talk to her
she’s never given up on you
but tonight‘s the night maggie may: that’s rod stewart
i’mma just keep gettin’ paid to wash these b~tches like a dog groomer
‘til i’m the most recognized midwest voice in the game since bob uecker
so, hey…
if people think you won, it’s probably your friends that would say that no matter what
or maybe some locals that don’t remember the grind time days when you were trash as f~ck
or maybe just some unseasoned fans that don’t even understand half this stuff
but i mean, you know you’re pretty gassed, right?
yeah, that’s what’s up
so rest in peace!
you openly admit you spend your time dead asleep
and being the 50th~best battler in the city is not a legacy
that’s why i just cooked him, y’all know the recipe
five time defending no coast champ xqz
thank you
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