lirik lagu nico roberts - my god
[chorus]
my god, are you even there or just watchin’?
blood on my hands and i’m still out here talkin’
my god, why’d you let him die like that?
tears on my page, now i rhyme like that
my god, i ain’t ask for much, just peace
you gave me pain and the curse don’t cease
my god, i ain’t scared of h~ll or fear
i just need you to tell me why i’m still here
[verse 1]
my god… i been battlin’ demons you ain’t even met
i sleep in the coffin, still breathin’, ain’t dead yet
talkin’ to the sky like you owe me some replies
why you take my brother and leave me to watch momma cry?
i ain’t no angel, i ain’t never claimed grace
but this pain taste bitter like it’s etched into my face
every prayer i sent felt like a f~ckin’ echo
bounced back empty, hollow like my shadow
you said “trust the plan” — well, the plan broke me
now i’m sittin’ here twitchin’ off a xan slowly
was it part of your will when he took that last breath?
was it fate, or a glitch in your concept of death?
i got questions, no preacher can answer
soul full of rage, and my heart got cancer
i ain’t sinnin’ for fun, i’m just tryin’ to cope
with a bottle, a pen, and a sliver of hope
he was my blood, my twin, my only savior
now i’m tryna k!ll god in my own behavior
punchin’ mirrors, screamin’ at the ghost of the past
if faith a test, i think i failed the class
ain’t no sermons on this side of the grave
just pain pills, gun clips, and songs i made
i seen light in his eyes when he used to laugh
now all i got is ashes and this paragraph
so when i say “my god,” it ain’t praise no more
it’s a scream from the gut that shakes my core
it’s a curse and a plea and a bullet to fate
ain’t no heaven for us — just locked gates
[chorus]
my god, are you even there or just watchin’?
blood on my hands and i’m still out here talkin’
my god, why’d you let him die like that?
tears on my page, now i rhyme like that
my god, i ain’t ask for much, just peace
you gave me pain and the curse don’t cease
my god, i ain’t scared of h~ll or fear
i just need you to tell me why i’m still here
[verse 2]
i lit candles in his name, but they just burned out
like every f~ckin’ promise that i ever learned about
i ain’t holy — i’m broken, baptized in pain
with a cross on my back and rust in my veins
my god… you really lettin’ this slide?
you watched him overdose, mouth foamin’ while he cried
where the angels at when the devil holds the pen?
i been writin’ in blood, tryin’ to feel him again
momma screamed loud, but you ain’t answer
just silence in the halls, and pills in the pantry
i flipped through psalms, didn’t find no peace
just scriptures full of guilt, and a leash on belief
i was raised to forgive, but i ain’t forgot sh~t
i remember how he twitched in that cold ditch
they said “god got a plan,” what’s that supposed to mean?
my brother’s in a box, and i’m hooked on lean
yeah, i pray — but it’s war when i do
like i’m hopin’ you flinch when i spit this truth
you could’ve took me, i begged for the trade
but i guess even death got rules it obeys
i see his ghost in the rearview, eyes real low
he said, “bro, keep drivin’ till the sky turn gold.”
but that gold never came, just rain and rust
so i pop another tab just to feel some trust
they say grief gets better — that’s a f~ckin’ myth
it’s a chain ’round your throat you learn to live with
so if i talk to god, it’s ’cause n0body else listens
and every time i do, the f~cker keeps his distance
[chorus]
my god, are you even there or just watchin’?
blood on my hands and i’m still out here talkin’
my god, why’d you let him die like that?
tears on my page, now i rhyme like that
my god, i ain’t ask for much, just peace
you gave me pain and the curse don’t cease
my god, i ain’t scared of h~ll or fear
i just need you to tell me why i’m still here
[verse 3]
i ain’t lookin’ for no halo, i just want a f~ckin’ sign
a whisper in the wind sayin’ it’ll all be fine
but the silence loud, it echoes in my spine
and all these d~mn prayers just die on the line
they say time heals, but i ain’t seen the stitch
just scars layered deep like a glitch in the script
told myself i’d quit, put the bottle down for good
but i sip like it’s gospel — misunderstood
my god… where the h~ll were you that night?
when he called my phone, and i ain’t reply
i live with that ghost, it sleeps in my bed
it talks through my pen when i write in red
i still scream your name, even when i curse it
still light a candle, hopin’ that it’s worth it
’cause maybe you exist in the tears i shed
or maybe you’re gone like the ones i’ve bled
but i keep spittin’ truth ’til the mic decay
hopin’ he hears me from the other side some day
[outro]
my god..
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